Fazil and Zulfia Abbas.
Image: Supplied
WHEN 15-year-old Zulfia responded to the POST's Lonely Hearts column in 1993 'just for fun', little did she know she would meet Fazil, her future husband.
Thirty-one-years, two children and one grandchild later, they share their remarkable journey and attribute their lasting love to that fateful column.
Fazil, 53, and Zulfia Abbas, 48, celebrated their wedding anniversary on March 26.
Due to ill health, Fazil retired early but always had Zulfia to fall back on for love and support.
Now living in Howick, the couple first met in 1993, when Fazil was 20 and Zulfia was 15.
Zulfia was originally from Tongaat while Fazil was from Howick and worked as a truck driver.
Their love story started when Zulfia was still in school.
She said she was curious about the POST’s Lonely Hearts column, which everyone was talking about at the time.
“At the time, I was in Grade 10. We had finished our typing exam and the POST Natal was on the table. So a group of four friends and myself were reading through the Lonely Hearts section and my friend suggested we write in. So we each wrote a letter. It was all for fun and we had no expectation of anything happening.
“One of friend’s typed out all the letters according to each girl's preference and posted it that weekend. It was forgotten thereafter,” said Zulfia.
Her pen name was ‘Inshallah’ which means ‘if Allah wills’.
Her advert read: “16-year-old lass looking to meet new friends between the ages of 16 and 20 to be pen-pals from Tongaat and surrounds. I love reading and writing, watching movies and baking”.
Two months later she received a brown envelope with 11 replies but only replied to Fazil.
“So I took it to school the next day to show my friends. Well, from all those I chose only one to reply to.
“I was attracted to him because of his description. He said he had long hair and that used to be a ‘thing’ back in the day. Our correspondence wasn't intended for love or marriage. But that's where it ended up,” said Zulifa.
They met after she responded to him.
“He came home to see me. My parents were not pleased but after much convincing they allowed us to meet under their supervision. He came home and brought me chocolates. We had lunch and got to know each other. After that we spoke every day, like five times a day.
“He was a shy and quiet kind of guy while I was loud and outspoken. He comes to see me every weekend with a friend of his,” she said.
Fazil and Zulfia Abbas when they were younger.
Image: Supplied
They also wrote love letters to each other.
“We would write letters to each other daily. I remember showing my friends his letters and telling them how neat his hand writing was for a boy, only to find out after we were married that his sister used to write it for him,” she laughed.
Her parents were not happy with their relationship.
“He would visit on a Saturday and sit at my house until 10:30 pm. My parents were very strict and I was not allowed to leave him or go anywhere without my older brother. Then, on a Sunday morning they would be back by 8am. I remember my mum used to get so frustrated. Little did we know that he had family in Tongaat and used to sleep over there,” said Zulifa.
After four months of dating they finally married in 1994.
“I left school after four months of dating and we were engaged. Eight months after we were married.”
However, her parents were upset with her choice.
“They wanted me to finish school first and then think about marriage. My parents were not too happy with the decisions I made but I insisted and they had to finally give in and let me live my life,” she said.
The couple married in March 1994 at their home in Tongaat.
“It wasn't a very big wedding. There were only 50 people. It was just my close family and his. I was very excited because he was my first boyfriend. I was nervous and naïve. When our son was born, my parents mellowed. They were over the moon. He was the first grandson and the apple of their eye ,” she said.
Fazil said life had its ups and downs.
“It has not been an easy journey and we had a lot of obstacles in our path. But 31 years later here we are, happy and living life with our little family.
“We owe Lonely Heart’s our family because without it, we would not be here today. We have two beautiful kids together and a grandchild,” he said.
“There were lots of people who were not too happy but we still got married. It was tough at times but we always made it work,” said Fazil.
They said everyone should have their own Lonely Heart’s experience at least once.
“I would say just go for it. You will never know what fate has in store for you until you give it a shot and yes I would definitely do it again, I have no regrets.
“Times have changed and so have people. Today couples are too hasty to throw in the towel when times get tough. Our times were different. We always worked through the hard times together.
Marriage is for the good times and bad,” added Fazil.
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