Celebrating my mum

FOR those of you that don’t already know my mum – the woman that raised me, loved

me and continues to pour love into my family and me – is not my biological mother.

She is my adoptive mum. Forty-two years ago, my mum, Rene, and late dad, Morgan Nadar, brought me home from RK Khan Hospital.

They had been praying for a child and when God answered that prayer on New Year’s Eve in 1982 via a telephone call from the social worker, they wasted no time in preparing their humble home for a newborn baby.

My mum fondly remembered trying to find baby clothing shops that were opened on New Year’s Eve, all those years ago. There were few, she said, but it didn’t matter because all she wanted was to hold her baby.

My mum and dad raised me as their own. I never once felt a disconnect or questioned their love for me. My mum came from a traditional Indian family and the idea of adoption was not one they welcomed. Despite their concerns, she chose to adopt and never sought validation or support.

That decision took immense courage and unwavering faith – two qualities my mum is known for until today. Growing up, many people looked at me while I was with my mum and dad and questioned who I looked like. Knowing that I didn’t look like either of them saddened me as I wondered what their biological child would have looked like.

However, when they replied “Abigail is our adopted child, our gift from God”, that filled my little heart, more than they knew.

My mother made sacrifices for me, which I only now understand as a mum myself. She worked long hours for most of her life, so I could attend good schools and pursue extra activities.

She taught me to love and respect not just myself but others too. My mum and I are quite different. I cook and leave things lying all over the kitchen, which forces me to clean up after cooking. My mum cleans as she cooks and leaves the kitchen spotless when she’s done.

My mum was not very sociable growing up and I often wondered why she wouldn’t talk to people the way my dad did. She’s private, something she’s still teaching me the importance of today.

I, on the other hand, talk to everyone I meet and am social. I love watching movies (something I learnt from my dad), but my mum doesn’t, and would rather listen to devotional music or clean a cupboard.

My mum is super disciplined and loves being busy. I love relaxing and spending time by myself. My mum spent her first night alone after my dad passed. That was a huge challenge for her, but she did it and continues to surprise us by learning new things and challenging herself. 

She now even makes friends in our new neighbourhood. Of course, this means accompanying my mum to their homes to pick up freshly- laid eggs or baked treats that she bought from them or to deliver food that she cooked for them but that’s okay… all in support of my mum’s new social project.

We may have different personalities, but we share the same spirit.

My mum has been my biggest supporter and trusted ally over the years. She gives me advice when I don’t ask for it but later see the wisdom in.

She knows me better than anyone and gently watches over me and our family from the sideline.

There is nothing I can’t tell my mum and nothing I feel the need to hide from her. She doesn’t judge or criticise me; she just draws me in when I’ve fallen by the wayside.

I celebrate the woman who gave me roots to ground me and wings to fly. I celebrate the woman who taught me to be strong, and to love and celebrate my uniqueness.

I celebrate the woman who protected me from negativity my entire life and taught me to focus only on the good. This is the woman God blessed me with as a mum and that I will always be grateful for.

Nadar Nepaul is an attorney and reality TV star on the Mommy Club Sugar and Spice.

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