The search for identity: Valerie Heeramun's story of adoption and family

A LOCAL woman’s search for her biological parents has shed light on the emotional journey many adoptees face when trying to uncover their origins. 

Valerie Heeramun, who was adopted as a baby, has launched a public appeal with the hope of finding the mother and father she had never known. 

Despite being raised in a supportive adoptive family, Heeramun said the unanswered questions about her identity and medical history have grown more pressing with time. 

Heeramun, who has been medically boarded and resides in Phoenix, celebrated her 53rd birthday last Wednesday. She said instead of it being joyful, it was always the saddest for her. 

The mother of four only found out she was adopted in 2019, after her eldest cousin told her at a family member’s funeral. 

“When I found out, I was shocked but I heard rumours before my cousin told me. However when she told me directly, it just cemented the truth. About a year later, a story was published about my search for my biological parents.” 

She said the stress of the situation resulted in her having a heart attack in September 2020.

“My health is deteriorating. I had an angioplasty in April. My heart is not in a good state. By finding my parents, I would also like to know my family’s history health wise, and having more family around would make me feel complete.” 

While growing up with her adoptive parents, she was an only child and “spoiled rotten”. 

“I was treated like any other biological child would have been. But I always felt empty like a part of me was missing but I did not know why I felt that emptiness.”

She is not sure why her adoptive parents did not tell her she was adopted. 

“I do not know much about my adoption process since my adoptive parents are no longer here. My father died in 1999 at age 64 and my mother died in 2008 at age 68. But my family told me that my adoptive mother could not have children. 

“I know I was adopted at RK Khan Hospital. My cousin told me that my biological mother was young and her brother, who was in the police force, made her give me away.”

Heeramun said even though she had a family of her own, she still wanted to search for her biological family.

“I attempted to visit RK Khan Hospital, but they directed me to the nearby welfare office. They want my biological mother’s name so they can help. I am searching for the same thing. In this day and age, if you have the right people in the right places you can obtain any information you require.

"I know my biological parents may have their own families now and may not want their family to know about their past. I can understand that, but I just want to speak to them once for closure. Being an only child, I yearned for siblings which my adoptive mom could not have.  So I hope I have siblings somewhere.

“I also hope to see if I have their features, if I am in any way like either of them, or if I have health issues that they have. I want to ask a question as to why I was given away. If they feel they do not want to include me in their lives, I can accept that knowing I got questions answered. I am already prepared if they do not accept me.” 

She said while she hoped her parents accepted her, she also prepared herself to accept that they might want their identities kept a secret. 

“I would respect that,” she said.

Heeramun said all she could do with her search was take it to social media because she could not afford other methods. Even though Heeramun is searching for her biological parents, she is grateful for the life her adoptive parents gave her. 

“My adoptive parents were good people. They gave me everything and anything I wanted. My father worked for Metal Box in Clairwood and my mother was a housewife. When I was a year old, we moved from Chatsworth to Phoenix.”

Heeramun said despite everything, her husband and children supported her search. 

“My family stands by me and always helps me with my search. They see my hurt and sadness.”

If you have any information that may assist Heeramun, call her on 074 050 8967. 

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