CLAP FOR YOURSELF

This and That

With Dr Sandy Kalyan

BLURB:

One in four people experience a mental health issue like depression, anxiety or eating disorders. Mental Health is the second largest pandemic in the world, yet seeing a therapist to help resolve issues still carries a huge stigma.

Therapy is simply a conversation with a trained health care professional.

A psychologist usually undertakes a seven year study to qualify and has to be registered with the Health Professions Council of South Africa in order to practice. Psychologists are bound by a very strict code of ethics and all interactions between the therapist and patient are strictly confidential. If you are experiencing a Mental Health Issue, and unsure about your approach, feel free to write to me at [email protected].

CLAP FOR YOURSELF

WOMEN’S day is firmly behind us. This year there has been so many women’s day events that I feel that I had “event fatigue”! Some functions were hosted by corporate companies with a hefty price tag and the promise of a sumptuous high tea and a goodie bag.

All the guest speakers were high powered women who spoke of their journeys to reach top positions in their respective fields. Their audiences happened to be equally successful women in their own careers.

My personal view that this was a case of talking to the converted. And also only accessible to a few people who could afford it. Other organisations hosted women’s day events with all profits going to a designated project.

Five Star BEE Compliance had a great event and the entrance fee was packs of sanitary pads for girls at a school in Phoenix. I donated 36 packs with the hope that my contribution will keep three girls in school for one year. Linda Sewpersad who hosted the event called on all her business partners to contribute to a delightful goodie bag which was filled with such practical items.

I must say that I had great fun unpacking it and regifting the items I didn’t need. The Saraswati Mahila Mandal hosted their women’s day event in partner with Hindvani Radio and their support was for the Chatsworth Hospice. The Umhlatuzana Women’s Forum dedicated their women’s day event by hosting a home fair.

Women who run small businesses from home got to showcase their businesses and network. For me, that this is the very essence of women’s month.

Empowering the women who are making a living from their kitchens, to ensuring that the girl child has dignity when she menstruates and to helping those persons living with incurable diseases like cancer. That was what the Women’s March in 1956 was all about. Making a difference. The inner critic in me questioned whether any or all of these Women’s Day events actually empowered women.

The truth is that we may listen to a good speech and be momentarily inspired, yet when we get back to our real lives, can it be translated into our own reality? As women we wear so many hats on any one day. From daughter to career woman to mother to teacher to counsellor to driver, to plumber, to cleaner and the list can go on.

Women are great at juggling things and often put themselves last. Women’s month is to honour the women - to clap for them. But how often do you as a woman clap for yourself? We must clap for ourselves every day. We should compliment ourselves for juggling the very many hats we wear every day.

One way of doing this is to practise self-talk. Sounds ridiculous? Not at all. Self-talk is a very essential part of helping you to destress and help you to feel good about yourself. Talking to oneself is a great way to problem solve. I can almost hear people saying that people who talk to themselves are crazy.

Let’s not name call until we try it. It is very different to muttering incessantly or having a running commentary about anything and everything in general.

Self-talk is like thinking out aloud. It is focused. It is you talking to yourself personally.

It is you clapping to yourself. Go well and greet Spring with a big hello!

Dr  Kalyan is a psychologist, life coach and reiki practitioner.

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