TRIPPING AROUND THE INHERITANCE

I REMEMBER one of those hot, sticky summer afternoons on the banks of the Blue Lagoon with the aroma of mutton biryani and braai chops breezing from gazebos in every direction when Gono's daughter started the fight.

"Ma, this is not right ... the way you and Dada going here and there in this trips, there will be nothing left for our inheritance," squealed Natasha. 

Gono slammed shut the photo album on her lap and shot Thumba the look that could only mean a storm was coming.

"See, look, see, your daughter this."

The grandchildren politely melted away to the lake where Sailor Tommy did a brisk trade with the little, unsinkable paddle boats. 

Tears welled in Gono's eyes.

"I worked 44 years and seven months. Slogging day and night. Putting lottery. Painting the house. Putting the outbuilding to get renters. Sending this girls school with nice dresses and this is the thanks I get?" 

Thumba pulled the cap lower down his forehead as if not to be seen.

For a moment he forgot that it read: "MAURITIUS".

They had just come back from an idyllic ten days cruising the Indian Ocean on the ships that do the all-you-can-eat buffet and 24 hour pizza service.

He had taken a liking to the cruise's beautiful, buxom comedienne from Phoenix known to every pensioner's group from Moorton to Motlen as Bash with Tash. 

Gono had watched him swagger around her like a teenage boy aching for a kiss.

She had no concern that he might stray. "Kaki, this mens is like that dog that runs after the Inner Circle bus. When they catch it, they dunno what to do with it!" 

Thumba filled his senior citizens' meetings retelling the entertainer's hilarious jokes: "I was born in Chatsworth but brought up in the ... the Kruger National Park." He got the storytelling right down to the perfect pause to get the most laughter. 

Gono had a great time too.

Spotting the Russian girls tanning topless on Flic-En-Flac, she asked Thumba whether he minded if she bought herself a pair of hot pants with braces.

He just handed her his wallet with a naughty smile.

There were no pictures in the album of her in those snug red pants but Kaki had snapped a few on her phone for their private viewing. 

Turning to the neighbours celebrating their grandchild's second birthday under a stylish white stretch marquee Gono pleaded: "What y'all think of this children? It's like they waiting for us to die."

Natasha knew that she had crossed the line but there was no stopping Gono now.

Her voice came out loud and sonorous like Kenny G getting a second wind on the saxophone with Forever in Love. 

"All his life Thumba said he wanted to go Victoria Falls. I saw that tour company special in the Post Plus and booked it."

By this time she had pulled herself out of the deck chair and invited herself into the neighbour's marquee. 

"That Nolan fella was doing the bus trip for the Botswana temples. We went."

She proceeded to tell them about the half day flea market food tour to Depot Road and the five day jaunt to see the Namaqualand daisies in full bloom.

The neighbours offered her a cider. That loosed her up a bit more. 

"Thumba said that drinks package was too much in the cruise. I filled his whiskey in the shampoo bottle to camouflage in my luggage," she cackled.

Natasha had no place to put her face. She had just signed the papers for the Somerset Park house with Kubashni, the celebrity property agent.

It now looked like she and Trevor would have to take the 100% bond rather than get the half money that her father had quietly promised. Fathers and their daughters always have a separate track. 

Gono ambled back to her hungry family. "Dish Kaki, this man won't eat unless I give for him." Natasha bought her mother a wafer ice cream from the cart doing its Sunday rounds.

It was a peace offering but Gono was not budging about any inheritance.

Thumba was set on the December holidays in the Kruger and the hope that his favourite jokester might be there too.

Kiru Naidoo is the co-author of The Indian Africans available at www.madeindurban.co.za.

You can invite him to braai or biryani on 0829408163.

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