Attracting love after 40: the secrets to finding your ideal partner

SOME say it’s easier to find a unicorn than a great love after 40. I say it’s not only possible, it’s something that’s waiting for you if you know how to attract it.

Right there, is the first secret – you don’t “find” love – you attract your ideal partner to you. Firstly, if you have come out of a challenging relationship; take the time to heal. If you are still hurting and you jump into a new relationship, in a few months you will see the patterns of the last relationship beginning to emerge. Whether it is disrespect, cheating, taking you for granted or frequent arguments; it will resurface because relationships are not here to make you happy; it’s here to make you whole.

So, if you don’t take the lessons from the last relationship, if you don’t grow because of it, life will give you another similar relationship so that this time, you will pause and take the lessons.

When you take time to do the inner healing work, you forgive the other person and yourself, which doesn’t make the actions right, it releases you from the pain.

The next step is to reconnect with yourself. How did you show up in the last relationship? Were you kind, loving, caring and generous or did you not speak up, set boundaries or ask for what you wanted? What do you want to experience in the next relationship? Is it someone to complete you or take care of you? That’s a recipe for disastrous relationships. Or, do you yearn for deep love and connection? Who do you want to be in this relationship? Are there some skills you need to learn to communicate better or resolve conflict in a way that brings you closer instead of tearing you apart?

When you feel that you know yourself, you love yourself and your life, you now come from a “giving” place instead of a “wanting” place. Now you’re ready to attract true soul love. In this phase, get clear on what you have to offer more than what you want from the other. When you’re clear on what you have to give, you attract that in a partner.

The law of attraction states that “like attracts like” meaning like energy attracts like energy. So if your dominant energy is love, kindness, openness, generosity, truth, joy, etc, that is what you will attract from a partner. Like energy also means that a man who is an abuser attracts a woman who is a victim. A woman who is bossy and demanding attracts a man who is in his wounded masculine and cannot take the lead, make decisions or provide and protect.

They seem like opposites, but the energy is the same frequency.

If you want a relationship that is deeply loving and meaningful, where both partners support and encourage each other, know and accept each other, then this is a relationship that is not found, it is consciously created. That means you show up healed, in your true authentic nature. You have deep discussions about what you want in a relationship, what you bring, and what you’re still working on.

This kind of openness and vulnerability create connection. Most people are so caught up in the fairytale of finding the one and living happily ever after that they don’t have the tough conversations only to experience the challenges once they’re in the relationship instead of before.

Choosing a partner is one of the most important decisions you will make because a happy relationship impacts every area of your life and so will an unhealthy relationship.

Kas Naidoo is a Life Transformation and Relationship Coach with 25 years of experience in helping people attract love and consciously create epic relationships. For a free assessment to see exactly why you are not attracting your great love, email [email protected], or join the Facebook group The Love Evolution: https://www.facebook.com/groups/420965005855294

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