From to-do to to-be: a new approach to daily planning

IT'S  probably stuck onto your fridge and is pinned on the notepad on your cellphone. You may even find yourself writing it in your notebook at random times in the day. I’m guilty of saying it out aloud as I drive to work. It’s a habit that has been inculcated within us from a young age – create a to-do list.

This list is essential in staying focussed, planning better and making the most of your day. Well, that’s what we are led to believe. In practical terms, does this happen, or do you end up feeling more overwhelmed and anxious? Let’s face it, the do-list never ends.

My cousin recently introduced me to the to-be list. It’s life changing. Here, the emphasis is on your state of being, how you want to show up and the qualities you want to embody. It also prompts you to be more intentional in bringing fulfilment to your life, instead of running on autopilot. Our days should not be a constant battle flight or fight modes. We have a choice, and choosing a to-be list means choosing to grow a little every day.

How does it work? You decide what you want to be for a specific day or week. Do you want to be prepared, focussed, more attentive, adventurous, relaxed or do you want to do something for the first time? So, you see, there's room for everything - work, fun and rest. It doesn't mean abdicating any responsibilities or neglecting important tasks. Once you decide on your to-be list, you can use this to guide your to-do list. When something doesn’t feel forced, you’re more likely to accomplish it, and yes, be excited about it too. 

For example, to be prepared for the week ahead, perhaps you would need to put in a few hours extra the week or day before. To be focussed, you would need to limit distractions and maybe mute your technological devices. To be relaxed, you would possibly want to quality time with your family at home, meditate, do yoga, home or go away for the weekend. It may also include saying no to people you do not have the bandwidth to deal with at a particular time, and that’s okay.

It’s never too late to unlearn old habits that no longer serve you, and to adopt new ones. Get into the habit of writing your to-be list the night before or in the early hours of the morning and allow that to set the tone for each day. You can also plan further ahead based on professional or personal commitments – think of that upcoming family wedding or overseas work conference.

What I love most about the to-be list is that it doesn’t feel like a checklist or make you feel robotic. We’re human, with feelings that fluctuate based on relationships, events, and sometimes circumstances beyond our control. The to-be list allows us to be our authentic selves. It’s forgiving and understanding. It’s a way to be kinder to yourself. The benefits? Less stress, more self-awareness and greater opportunity to make memories simply by choosing your to-be.

Maya Jagjivan Kalicharan is a journalist with two decades of experience in radio broadcasting. She currently works in corporate communications at a leading African company in the business process outsourcing industry. Beyond her professional role, Kalicharan serves on the management committee of the 1860 Heritage Centre in Durban and is passionate about telling stories on indenture and beyond. She shares her love for writing, with a special focus on women's empowerment, through her personal blog, inmywords.co.za.

THE POST