When morning sickness becomes a battle

WHEN most people hear about morning sickness, they nod knowingly, recalling their personal experiences. It’s viewed as a queasy inconvenience that every pregnant woman is expected to grin and bear. So, when I became violently sick during my pregnancy, every well-meaning person I met offered their best advice: crackers, ginger biscuits, ginger-ale, figs, china fruit, plain toast, avocado, chips, pap, I tried it all.

Every remedy passed down through generations of mothers ended up on my list. Yet none of it worked. Because what I had was not morning sickness. It was something far more severe: Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG).

HG is a life-altering pregnancy condition affecting 1- 3% of women. It causes extreme nausea, dehydration, weight loss, and physical weakness. My gynae told me that mine was the worst case of HG he had treated in his 35 years of practice. He watched as HG stripped away all sense of my humanness. I lived between the bathroom floor and the hospital bed.

For months I couldn’t eat or drink. Even a sip of water wouldn’t stay in. I was rehydrated through a drip. Hugging my husband and even my 3-year-old son became impossible. The smell of fabric softener, perfume, food and people were suffocating. The worst part was the constant horrid taste in my mouth. There was no escape.

During my worst stages, I was permanently weak, lying in a hospital room with the curtains closed, drowsy but unable to sleep, slurring words people couldn’t understand. I stopped taking calls. Visitors were met with silence or my clumsy attempts at sign language.

The emotional weight of HG

Pregnancy is supposed to be a season of anticipation, yet HG turns it into survival. I prayed daily for the ordeal to end. In my search for some reprieve, I joined an HG group on Facebook where other women from around the world shared their stories. I clung to it in hope, looking forward to the stories of those who posted that they had made it through.

For others though, the toll was unbearable. Many resorted to abortions because they just couldn’t handle it anymore. HG almost makes you choose between your own life and the baby’s. Mysteriously, the illness disappears the moment the baby leaves your body.

Strain on families and marriages

HG doesn’t just impact the mother. It strains families and marriages too. Many women I spoke to shared heartbreaking stories: partners texting other women while they lay in hospital beds, husbands complaining that their wives could no longer make their lunches, marriages cracking under pressure. I am deeply grateful for my husband, who despite taking great strain himself, stood by me through every moment. His support became a lifeline when everything else felt stripped away.

Why we need to speak up

The reality of HG is often silenced or dismissed. Too many women are told they are exaggerating, that it will pass, that they simply need to be stronger. But HG is not a test of willpower. It is a medical condition that can rob women of dignity, health, and joy during what is meant to be one of the most precious times of their lives. The lack of awareness means many women endure it alone, feeling invisible. Support can come in simple ways: providing meals for the family, offering to help with the other children, and simply being present. 

Finding humanity again

Even in the darkness, I clung to the hope that HG would not define me forever. It stripped me down to my weakest, most fragile self, but it also reminded me of resilience I didn’t know I had. There were moments when I wondered if I would survive. Then, at 32 weeks, I miraculously gave birth to my beautiful daughter. And just like that, the sickness vanished.

I was holding my tiny girl, marvelling at how my body could endure so much and still bring her safely into the world. HG is a curveball no one prepares you for, but every story told makes the path a little less lonely for the next woman walking it.

Melani Moses is a communications specialist and director of Express Yourself. Visitwww.expressyourself.co.za, Instagram:@melini.moses, Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melinimoses/, Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/expressyourselfcommunication, or Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@expressyourselfsa

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