How to move on after divorce and attract a great love

WITH more than half of marriages ending in divorce, many people wonder: “Is it really possible to find true love after divorce?”

My answer is a resounding yes - but only if you are willing to take three essential steps first.

Step 1: do the inner healing work

Before you can move forward, you must look honestly at the relationship that ended and take responsibility for your own healing. As long as you continue to blame your ex, you will remain stuck in pain. Without healing, you will likely attract another partner who brings the same challenges — and the same heartbreak.

That’s why some people give up on love altogether, saying they “keep attracting the same type of person”.

Whether it’s someone who cheats, disrespects you, avoids responsibility, or battles addiction -  the pattern repeats until you address the root cause within yourself.

According to the law of attraction, like attracts like. The energy (or frequency) you carry determines the kind of partner you draw in. A victim and an abuser, for example, share a similar vibration of pain and fear. An insecure person often attracts someone unable to provide security. Someone carrying anger will meet a person who triggers it.

When you commit to your inner healing, you begin to release the wounds that block healthy love -  wounds like insecurity, fear of abandonment, feeling unworthy, guilt, shame, or disbelief that great love is possible. As long as these remain, you will struggle to attract a partner who is whole, grounded, and emotionally available. Healing frees you to attract love from a place of wholeness.

Step 2: know yourself in your magnificence

Once you have done the inner work, it’s time to reconnect with your authentic self - the most radiant version of you. You don’t need to become someone else, please others, or dim your light. When you fall in love with yourself and with your life, you naturally become magnetic to love.

Explore what brings you joy without relying on a partner. What foods delight you? What hobbies light you up? What are your gifts and passions? What kind of life are you creating for yourself?When you live in joy and authenticity, you attract someone who is also joyful and authentic. Like energy attracts like energy.

Step 3: consciously attract a partner

Once you feel whole and content within yourself, you no longer have to “wait” for love to appear -  you can consciously attract it. Instead of writing a long list of what you want from a partner, start with a list of what you have to offer.

For example: “I am a good listener. I’m kind, generous, patient, adventurous, and responsible. I communicate well and bring warmth and joy to a relationship.”

When you do this exercise, you begin to see your own value - and you’ll no longer settle for less than you deserve. The partner you attract will reflect the energy of the qualities you have listed. Then, get clear on what your ideal relationship looks and feels like. What do your mornings, evenings, weekends, and holidays together look like?

As you visualise this relationship, feel it as though it already exists. The more real it feels internally, the faster you will manifest it in your reality. Finding great love after divorce is absolutely possible but it begins within. Heal, rediscover your magnificence, and open your heart. When you become the love you seek, love will find its way to you.

Kas Naidoo is a life and relationship coach. Email [email protected]

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