Who’s holding the conch now? Power, bullying, and the loss of empathy in our schools

"You're talking too much, shut up Fatty."

"They used to call me 'Piggy.' Is the fictitious narrative of Lord of the Flies actually playing out at schools?"

While the Piggy's are left crying, others find it amusing because a video was captured and posted online. These acts of taunting, physical and verbal abuse often go unnoticed or people turn a blind eye. Subsequently, the Ralphs or Jacks continue to behave badly and the pupils either get a misdemeanour or a verbal warning.

So we need to ask: has school become a place for the survival of the fittest? How many more Piggy's will there be? Who is being hunted? And who are the hunters? Can we pick them out in the school playground? How many more Jacks and Ralphs are we letting in?

In my view, surely bullying emanates from something, somewhere, or someone, perhaps tragedy, trauma or just too much of entitlement. I draw parallels to Lord of the Flies, as I feel, much like Jack and Ralph, pupils are struggling for control, recognition, approval and power. However, fights are not over who gets to light a fire, or who gets to lead or be the hunter. Today, pupils are fighting for attention in and outside of school. For instance, who has the most followers or the most likes on social media, or who gets the loudest applause.

We prop these kids up on a pedestal. They are celebrated for popularity instead of character. This feeling of power and invincibility manifests itself into something more sinister and destructive. The power and glory goes to their heads, especially when coaches fuel their egos, rather than instilling kindness. So who is actually holding the “conch” now? Teacher? Parents? Or the pupils?

Bullying in South African schools has become the norm. If we are not reading about it in the newspaper, we will surely find some disturbing video on social media. But where are the teachers and parents? Is there less supervision? It is as if these kids are left on an island of their own, without direction - becoming deeply frustrated, turning on each other, no empathy and compassion.

According to anti-bullying NGOs, around 57% of South African pupils have been bullied at least once in their lives. These acts are either ignored or treated as a minor disagreement, so pupils feel free to manipulate the system without consequences. Statistics from Safer Schools show that more than 3.2 million pupils are bullied yearly; 67% of these victims will not report their abuse as they believe they will not be assisted.

Has bullying become the new “cool” in school? What are these cruel acts revealing about us? Is there too much of autonomy and personal power bestowed upon these pupils in school? Just how companies integrate mandatory soft skills training courses in emotional intelligence, we need our schools to teach empathy as passionately as mathematics.

Coaches need to show humility and leave out the glorification of these pupils. Parents need to communicate with their children more often, if not daily about generosity and compassion for another human being. Pupils need to practise self-control over their emotions. Perhaps it's time for us - parents, teachers, coaches and mentors - to pick up the conch again. Not to drown out other voices, but to listen, support and guide children.

Bullying in our schools is not fiction. It rears its ugly head in playgrounds, classrooms, change-rooms and digital spaces on a daily basis. This epidemic will continue because we are choosing to turn our heads away from this vicious cycle of abuse.

As the saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child”, it begins with parents, grandparents, guardians, teachers, coaches, tutors and mentors. Everyone has a part to play in this educational ecosystem. Perhaps it’s time we all pick up the conch again - not to command silence, but to magnify compassion because no child should ever feel like Piggy again. I’ll leave you with a smidge of my life experience. The right people will inspire you and celebrate the big and little achievements. Your happiness is their happiness too. The wrong friends will quietly dim your light. Remember, you have a long journey ahead, so choose your friends wisely.

Kameni Chetty is a freelance journalist and holds a Master’s degree in media and culture studies from the University of KwaZulu-Natal. She works as an academic content writer for a higher education institution.

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