The unspoken tax women pay in the workplace

THERE is a quiet truth many working women carry in their hearts, even when they cannot say it aloud: Some days, it feels as though we are paying a tax simply for being women.

A tax measured not in money, but in effort. In scrutiny. In expectations. In the endless work of having to prove again and again - what is freely assumed of others. Across my 25 years in the working world, I have watched this truth unfold in boardrooms, in open-plan offices, in interviews, and in the quiet corners where women gather to breathe for a moment before returning to their professional armour. I have lived it too.

The tax of proving yourself twice

Many women learn early that competence is not automatically attributed to them. While their male colleagues often walk into a room presumed capable, a woman must often demonstrate her worth before she is believed. She arrives prepared. Then over-prepared. She anticipates questions, rehearses responses, checks her work twice and then once more for luck.

Meanwhile, the world around her quietly extends grace to her male colleague - forgiving his mistakes, praising his potential, trusting him without requiring proof. This is one form of the unspoken tax: women must be exceptional just to be seen as equal.

Cultural conditioning makes the tax heavier

For many women, the weight of this tax does not begin in the workplace - it begins in childhood. We were taught to be gentle, modest, humble, agreeable. We learnt to lower our voices, soften our presence, and make ourselves easy to accommodate. We were taught to care deeply, but not to expect care in return. These lessons shaped us, but they also conditioned us to shrink ourselves in moments where men naturally expand. So, when a woman enters the workplace, she arrives competent and qualified, yet conditioned to doubt her place, her value, her right to speak. And in that hesitation, the tax grows.

Visibility becomes another cost

Women quickly learn that being visible is a delicate balancing act:

⦁ Speak too softly and you are overlooked. 

⦁ Speak too strongly and you are labelled. 

⦁ Work quietly and your contributions disappear. 

⦁ Work boldly and you become “too much.”

And so, the woman takes on the tax of constant self-monitoring, always adjusting, always recalibrating, always walking the tightrope of perception.

Don’t hide your femininity — it is your power, not your penalty

Through all of this, many women learn to tuck away parts of themselves to fit the mould of what leadership “should” look like. But leadership has never belonged to one gender, one tone, or one style.

⦁ Don’t hide your femininity.

⦁ Your softness does not make you weak.

⦁ Your intuition is not a disadvantage.

⦁ Your grace does not diminish your intelligence.

⦁ Your power comes from being whole — not from diluting yourself to make others comfortable.

Be authentically you

As women rise, the world often tries to reshape them. But the truth remains: Authenticity is not only allowed — it is necessary.

⦁ Be authentically you.

⦁ You are not required to imitate the men beside you.

⦁ You are not required to apologise for your identity.

⦁ And you are not required to carry the unspoken tax alone.

A closing truth

To every woman reading this:

⦁ Your worth is not validated by how much harder you work.

⦁ Your value is inherent, undeniable, and complete — exactly as you are.

The tax you pay is real. But so is your right to rise without it.

Rubene Ramdas, with 25 years of professional experience, is passionate about women’s leadership, mentorship, and the steady, compassionate guidance young professionals need as they find their place in an ever-evolving world of work. 

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