Confronting the festive blues: finding peace and joy this season

NOT feeling so festive this season? Not feeling like in the mood to celebrate or feel as though this year has been a ride on its own that wished you didn’t pay for? You aren’t alone. Thousands of people experience “festive blues” and this could be due to a magnitude of reasons.

The first reason is the financial weight the festive time carries on ones soul. You want the perfect gifts to be given and the beautiful tree, not forgetting a full table spread of food as you scramble to cover the costs and find the energy to fulfil this wish. You want everything perfect. The table setting and decor, the fully decked tree with countless beautifully wrapped gifts for your loved ones just like the ones you see on social media.

You get invited to tons of parties, which are passed your bedtime and often lead to early hours of the morning and you become sleep deprived, exhausted and have no energy to actually enjoy the real reason for this season. You suffer from social anxiety and feel forced to attend these family gatherings where people suck the energy out of you leaving you “powerless” or “mentally hungover” the next day. God forbid you say “No” because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but here’s a little secret... Nobody cares, they will be too drunk to notice you aren’t there if you feel like an environment is going to drain you.

Then we get to the family dynamics. This parent favours the other sibling over the other one and spends more time there than with you. Then we have the toxic family that critiques your food that you so graciously prepared and the ones that get too wasted and cause a scene. Family dynamics is one of the bigger challenges during festive time, especially if you have a family of your own in a household with your own traditions. They complain about why you choose to spend this time of the year at your house and not theirs and find every excuse in the book to ensure that you are the one hosting the entire family.

This is where the financial strain comes in. A simple lunch with your family no matter how big requires a lot of effort and quite a bit of money. The fancy prawns and leg of lamb don’t come cheap and the turkey, well that’s another story.

The whole point of the festive season is to spend much needed time with your loved ones. It shouldn’t matter what’s on your table or under your tree. It doesn’t matter if you bought anyone gifts. It also doesn’t matter if you choose to decline invitations you really don’t want to accept. This time of the year is for reflection, relaxation and happiness. We had the entire year to stress and worry and hate the living daylights of 2025 (I know I did) so why carry that into a month where you deserve to be happy and peaceful.

Nobody is going to remember what you wore or how the food tasted or how much you spent on decor (if they do, they aren’t your people). Remember the reason for the season and use it to be grateful for the people at your table and whatever that may be on that table. Unemployment was a real nightmare this year and many are struggling as it is, so why put unnecessary pressure on the things that are going to drain you.

Remember these important facts:

- It’s ok if your tree is not fancy. It’s also ok if you don’t have a tree.

- It’s okay if you don’t have gifts for everyone, being together is enough.

- It’s okay to decline an invite that you don’t feel up to accepting.

- Don’t sweat the small stuff! This time of the year is to be enjoyed for the rough year we all went through.

- Don’t compare your table to anyone’s on social media. Your table is YOUR table. It shouldn’t look like anyone else’s.

- Don’t go into debt trying to impress anyone.

- Make do with what you have

Kamini Rambridge, a business owner, gives personal insights on mental health wellness through her blog, Mental(it)y Matters, which she launched in 2023. Her initiative not only aims to create awareness, but also serves as a therapeutic outlet for her own experiences. Visit https://kamzrambridge.wixsite.com/mentalitymatters

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