Finding warmth in the lonely festive season

FOR many, the festive season is synonymous with joy, laughter, and family gatherings. For others, it is a reminder of emptiness, absence, and longing. The truth is, Christmas does not feel festive for everyone and for some, it can be one of the loneliest times of the year.

Loneliness is a reality in South Africa. Recent studies show that nearly one in five older adults report feeling lonely, while over 90 % of adolescents experience moderate to severe loneliness. December often intensifies these feelings, with the pressure to celebrate, the reminders of absent loved ones, and the buzz of social activity around us.

So, what does this loneliness feel like? It can be physical, sitting at a table meant for many, yet feeling unseen. Or emotional - surrounded by a crowd but still feeling alone or wearing a mask with a smile in public but you're really not okay inside. Some experience a profound sense of absence, remembering loved ones lost, relationships strained, or festive seasons gone by. Others feel invisible under the spotlight of social media, watching posts of happiness that seem impossible to match.

For many, the pressure to “be happy” only intensifies the weight of their solitude. Yet, there is hope. Even in isolation, connection is possible. One of the simplest ways to lift your spirits is to first have awareness about how you are feeling. There are places of worship, neighbourhood groups, and social events that you can connect to. These spaces offer laughter and the warmth of human interaction. Volunteering is another powerful way to combat loneliness. Helping at a charity, or participating in food drives not only supports others, but creates a sense of purpose and belonging that cannot be found in scrolling social media.

If you are fortunate enough to be surrounded by family or friends, remember those who may not be. Reach out. A message, a phone call, or a simple invitation can make a profound difference to someone quietly struggling. Inclusion can be the most meaningful gift of all. Creating personal rituals can also bring comfort.

Light a candle for absent loved ones, prepare a meal that nourishes both body and soul, or write a reflective note to yourself. These small acts create meaning where social celebrations may fall short. Above all, allow yourself to feel. Loneliness, sadness, and nostalgia are natural and valid -  acknowledging them is a step toward healing, not a sign of weakness.

For those struggling more deeply, support is available. Organisations such as helplines or counselling practices like ours are there to offer support throughout the festive season. This festive season, whether you spend it alone or with others, remember that the true spirit of the season lies not in presents or decorations, but in connection compassion, and kindness. Especially kindness to yourself.

Sasha Talia Pather is the founder of Sasha Talia Counselling, a leading mental health counselling practice based in Umhlanga. She holds several accolades in her field, including being recognised as one of KZN’s Top Business Women. With 13 years of experience, Pather supports individuals, couples, families, corporate. Her work is dedicated to advocating against injustice and changing the face of mental health care by making support accessible to all.

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