How Desiree Karabo Reddy embraces Hindu faith in a cross-cultural marriage

WHEN Desiree Karabo Reddy, raised in a Pedi household, married Sherwin Reddy, a Hindu, she wholeheartedly embraced his faith and traditions.

Desiree was raised in Limpopo and was taught to respect others' religion, culture and traditions, and when she married Sherwin, a proud Tamilian, finding a common ground was never a problem.

As the CEO of Dezrykay Trading, an entrepreneur, singer, and content creator, Desiree recently shared her devotion to the Hindu faith during the harvest festival of Pongal. 

On Thursday, she posted a video on TikTok, blessing her home and husband, a reflection of her spiritual gratitude.

"Pongal, to me, means that the Gods have responded to our prayers. We are harvesting everything that we have planted in our home, or, if we have a particular farm, we take what we have planted prior to Pongal and now harvest. We thank the gods for providing us with all the natural resources we need to grow our own food and crops, and today we can eat them blissfully, pleasantly, happily and healthily thanks to the goddess and gods." 

She said during the four days of Pongal, which started on Thursday, they observed prayer and rituals. 

Desiree, of Bryanston in Johannesburg, said she did not live with her in-laws and was therefore responsible for "putting together all the prayers by myself". 

"I have learnt from my mother-in-law how this is done, and from the temple and community members that I would find accessible whenever I need assistance."  

Desiree and Sherwin married in December 2018 after they met on the online dating app Zoosk - for serious people who want to get married.  

"It was instant love. He was spiritual and did not have bad habits such as drinking alcohol, clubbing, using substances, or gallivanting around. He was disciplined and had a steady life that I really loved in a partner. We tied the knot in 2021 in a Tamil wedding. The date was advised by the guru in the temple after he opened the book (Panchang)," she said. 

She said she and Sherwin were raised in families that do not promote racism, discrimination and xenophobia. 

"What our families have in common is the education of humanity, love and respect for everybody because we live under the same sky and we bleed the same colour blood. If your blood is perhaps gold then you have the right to believe you are superior human beings compared to the rest of the people. However, that is impossible. We do not believe there is any minority race or majority race. We are equally human." 

Desiree, who is vegan, said she followed the Hindu faith because in her culture, when the daughters got married they must follow their in-laws' cultures, religions and traditions. 

"I always knew while growing up that whoever I met, whatever culture, tradition or religion they followed would then be mine. I was mentally ready to convert into whatever religion my husband followed. It has never been a problem at all." 

She said she had a prayer lamp in her home, which remained lit. 

"From morning to evening, my lamp never goes off. When I leave home, I fill it with oil and do my prayers. When I return home, I increase the oil to ensure it does not go off, and before I go to bed, I make sure it is alight. It is in a safe prayer area. 

"I also light my agarbatti (incense stick) every morning and walk around with the coal to pray for my house, to cleanse the energy. That is my daily routine. I also attend the temple on particular days of the week. Due to our modern lifestyles where we are working and doing other stuff, I cannot attend temple as often as I want to. I do it for the big ceremonies." 

Desiree often wears saris, punjabis, lenghas or traditional Indian wear to show "how proud I am to be married to the man I am married to". 

"I feel that I represent him wherever I go. I put on my dot, so that people know I am a happily married Hindu wife. All of this is very exciting to me because in my culture there is nothing that identifies you as married other than a ring. 

"A lot of people want to know why I always wear the dot, even if I am in my office-wear. I tell them I wear a dot because I am a Hindu wife and I follow the Hindu religion, culture and traditions, and this represents my third eye chakra. I also meditate every morning. 

"There are times when I wear kumkum directly, and times when I mix it with turmeric and sandalwood for the prayers that we would observe. I also describe that if it is red, it identifies that you are married. You can wear a black dot to ward off evil eyes or evil spirits. I try to educate people who prove to be curious about the culture as much as I can with what little information I have, as I continuously learn on a daily basis." 

Desiree said she always wanted a mixed race family as she does not believe she should raise a 100% black family. 

"There are enough black people in my home. I feel there needs to be a touch of diversity..." 

Desiree said Sherwin, an engineer and businessman, was a wonderful human being and she sometimes forgot he was Indian or she, black. 

"We live as two souls that are loving each other, respecting each other's whole being, respecting each other's families. We are one now as the two families have merged comfortably and blissfully. We continue to carry that legacy and we are proud to be the ambassadors of diverse cultures." 

Sherwin said following a religion could bring structure, community, and purpose to one's life. 

"It's a personal choice that provides guidance, comfort, and a sense of belonging for many. Respect and tolerance go hand in hand, regardless of religious beliefs or backgrounds. It's all about embracing differences and finding common ground, Especially living in a diverse country, South Africa." 

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