CRTL + S – the joy of conversation

DM me. And with those words, chat functionality has become the preferred means of communication for millions of people worldwide.

We convey feelings and thoughts by sharing emojis, memes and reels, and trying to keep up with Gen Alpha lingo. I find it very 6-7. You get me? According to some definitions, 6-7 means "so-so", or "maybe this, maybe that", especially when paired with the signature hand gesture with both palms facing up, and moving up and down alternately.

As a mother of a six year old, you can imagine how many times a day I hear and witness this trend. It's both confusing and endearing.

Such trends become viral, thanks to technology, and while technology may make us feel more connected to people who live in other parts of the country and world, I have to ask - is it distancing us from the people who live closest to us, and in the same home?

Where does this leave wholesome face-to-face conversation? The dinner table? Well, that’s where it should start. Our dinner tables need to become technology-free zones. Forget about the cellphone and use the time to catch up while enjoying dinner mindfully. Eating dinner while streaming or watching television also needs to be cancelled, immediately.

Growing up, the only thing we gathered to watch together as a family on weekday nights was the evening television news bulletin. It was non-negotiable and I wouldn't have it any other way as it truly expanded my understanding of politics and socio-economic realities.

Then, of course, we would dissect the news of the day. It was the catalyst for discussion, debate, forming opinions and finding your voice. That's how independent, critical thinking develops. And that's exactly what we need in society today, particularly from our youth.

I recently had the honour of interacting with marketing and communication students. I was impressed with their ideas, their teamwork and, of course, how tech-savvy they were. However, I sensed that some students weren't confident with expressing themselves in front of an audience.

In that moment it dawned upon me that this is in fact a reflection of society, mirroring a pattern from toddler to teenage years. In the same way that reading needs to be encouraged, so too do we need to encourage meaningful conversations - at home, within the larger family unit, among neighbours and people we meet. We cannot continue blaming devices and excessive screen time, because these are conscious choices parents must make.

Set limits and enforce bans if necessary. Or run the risk of re-wiring a child’s brain to the extent that they cannot function without a device in hand. I’m not against technology or social media, given the enormous benefits for learning and development. However, tough love takes on a different meaning when there’s technology overload. Downtime is definitely needed. And what a child needs more is interaction, stimulation and conversation in the real world; be it exploring the outdoors, making friends or simply chatting at the dinner table.

Hence, my advice to the students was simple: " Talk more, in full sentences, not the DMs. Soon, you will find the confidence to command the audience's attention in a way that they believe in your ideas as much as you do."

Speaking to students brings me great joy. Think of it as an adrenaline rush with every happy hormone engaging in an energetic dance. It's how we thrive as human beings; by feeding off each others energy. Now think of the joy you experience when speaking to your loved ones - that warmth, the feeling of comfort and belonging, and creating special memories where the laughter echoes in your heart long after the conversation has ended. Can it be replicated by or replaced with technology? Try as they may, it will always be an imitation. Why then would we want to deny our children the joy of authentic conversation?

In the era of everything artificial, let's hold onto what makes us real. Let's talk.

Maya Jagjivan Kalicharan is a journalist with two decades of experience in radio broadcasting. She has also lectured students in journalism, and currently works in corporate communications at a leading African company in the business process outsourcing industry. Beyond her professional role, Kalicharan serves on the management committee of the 1860 Heritage Centre in Durban. She shares her love for writing through her personal blog, inmywords.co.za.

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