Mastering the momentum: why you are the conductor of your own life

THE transition from the 9-to-5 workday to the 5-to-9 second shift at home often feels less like a routine and more like a runaway train. We find ourselves gasping for air, struggling to find a station where we can finally catch our breath. In this never-ending race, we often neglect our truest anchors: our families and our greatest wealth - our health.

Too many of us spend our lives in pursuit of a "someday", where the train finally stops, allowing us to revive buried passions and create the life we were meant to live. But perhaps our greatest miscalculation is the belief that we have to "catch" the train at all. What if the goal is not to catch up, but to realise that we are already the conductors of the journey?

From waiting to integration

By cultivating equilibrium between professional obligations and personal passions, we shift from a mindset of waiting to one of integration. This allows us to work in parallel with our ambitions - advancing toward our goals while simultaneously honouring the quality of life that exists in the present.

However, in a world of doubt and judgement, we often struggle to "forgive" ourselves for daring to want more. The harshest critic we face is the one in the mirror. We transform fleeting doubts into fixed realities, questioning our worth through a lens of persistent guilt. We have been conditioned to associate relaxation with under-performance, viewing stillness as a step backward.

We must reframe this: choosing yourself is not a betrayal of your family; it is a vital investment in them. When we prioritise our well-being, we ensure that we bring a whole, energised version of ourselves to the table, rather than the exhausted remains of a workday.

The conductor’s toolkit

Rather than punishing ourselves for being human, we can implement practical "anchors" to regain control of our energy:

1. Establish micro-boundaries: in our era of hyper-connectivity, the 9-to-5 rarely stays within its tracks. Implementing a "digital sunset" serves as a psychological sanctuary. By placing your phone out of sight at a specific time, you signal to your nervous system that the professional shift has ended and the recovery phase has begun.
2. Claim your third space: the transition between roles is the most vulnerable part of the day. Use your commute or the gap between shifts to decompress. Whether it is a 10-minute walk or meditative music, this third space allows you to shed your professional armour so you can enter your home as a conductor, not a victim of the day’s chaos.
3. Fuel your drive with micro-passions: do not wait for a December holiday to experience joy. Schedule "dopamine dates", such as a midweek movie or a Friday lunch. These act as milestones that keep you driven, ensuring your ideal life is a present reality, not just a future goal.
4. The art of mixing pain and pleasure: use "habit stacking" to blend productivity with connection. Transform chores into "parallel play”, like watching your favourite show while washing dishes or turn cleaning into a family dance party with a shared playlist. This allows you to check off your to-do' list while nurturing your to-be list.
5. Communicate your speed: balance is a team sport. It requires communicating your needs to your village - your partner, parents, or friends. Being transparent about your capacity reduces the friction of unmet expectations.

The final station

The tracks of our lives are laid not by the hours we clock at a desk, but by the moments we choose to be present. The train will never stop moving, but the speed, the direction, and the cargo of joy we carry are entirely within our control. It is time to step into the booth, take hold of the throttle, and start steering.

Kiara Govender has an honours degree in psychology, and is a passionate voice for mental health and women's empowerment. Beyond pageantry and social activism, she is an entrepreneur and a volunteer teacher, with a background in classical Indian music and Bharatha Natyam. Follow her journey on mental health via her Instagram account, @kiaragovender__.

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