Laugh first, breathe twice, then fix it

IF THERE'S one thing life keeps proving to me - often at the most inconvenient times - it’s that I absolutely do not have everything figured out. Not even close. I’m still stumbling, learning, unlearning, laughing, rolling my eyes at myself, and piecing things together as I go. And strangely, I’ve made peace with that. In fact, I’ve started to enjoy it.

Growing up, I genuinely believed adulthood came with an instruction manual. A neat little booklet with step-by-step guidance on how to handle work, people, emotions, crises, expectations, and the curveball life throws when least expected. I waited for it. It never arrived. What I got instead was experience, and a surprising ability to navigate chaos with only a cup of tea and a decent amount of faith.

Some of my best life lessons showed up disguised as minor disasters. Like the day I walked into a meeting with 6% battery and no charger - a moment that taught me more about prioritisation than any productivity workshop ever has. Or the time I mispronounced a word so confidently that even I wasn’t sure what I’d said… followed immediately by two unnecessary apologies.

Both incidents where I genuinely wished the ground would open and swallow me whole -  moments I was convinced I would never emotionally recover from. They weren’t glamorous, but they were real, and in their own humbling way, they taught me more than any polished, perfectly planned situation ever could.

Over time, I realised something simple: the world doesn’t reward perfection nearly as much as it rewards honesty, effort, humour, and the ability to stay human.

One thing I’ve come to appreciate about myself is this - I don’t waste much time drowning in the problem. I skip the panic, skip the dramatics, and go straight into: “Okay, how do we fix this?” mode. People are often shocked that I don’t fall apart more. Truthfully, panic - Rubene has retired. She now only appears for special occasions - usually uninvited and always overreacting.

These days, I’d rather laugh once, breathe twice, and calmly ask: “Alright… how do we fix this?” And that shift has been one of the most empowering gifts I’ve given myself - strongly encouraged (and lovingly shoved out of the panic mode I used to live in) by my husband, who remains convinced I’m capable of far more calm and far fewer catastrophes than I give myself credit for.

It’s not denial; it’s how I stay centred. My default setting isn’t meltdown - it’s movement. I naturally shift into problem-solving mode long before my brain even has time to panic. And honestly, that gentle change in how I respond has carried me through more chaos than people realise.

This doesn’t mean I have everything sorted. Far from it. I still forget things, misplace things, overthink things, and occasionally talk myself in circles. I still have days where life humbles me so quickly I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or make tea. But I’ve stopped expecting perfection from myself. These days, I simply aim for daily progress - even if the smallest shift makes me a slightly different Rubene than the one I was yesterday.

And here’s the comforting truth I’ve discovered: most of us are figuring things out in real time. Step by step. Moment by moment. Some with confidence, some with caffeine, some with prayer - and most of us with a combination of all three. Maybe that’s why I love Jordin Sparks’ One Step at a Time - it captures exactly what life keeps teaching me: everything unfolds when it’s meant to, and all any of us can do is keep taking the next small, brave step.

I’ve also learned that people will always have opinions - some thoughtful, some curious, some simply trying to make sense of things in their own way. Earlier in my life, I absorbed those voices too deeply. Now, I try to hear them with a lighter heart. Most of the time, people aren’t trying to judge; they’re just being human. And because of that, I try not to sweat the small stuff. People will say what they say, then gently move on - and I can keep my peace while they do.

If anything, I’ve shared resonates with someone who is also navigating life without a perfect manual whether in work, relationships, or simply trying to remember what they walked into the room for then I’m glad. Not because I have answers, but because it’s comforting to know we’re not alone in the not-knowing.

So no, I still don’t have everything together. But I’m learning. I’m laughing. I’m asking better questions. I’m fixing what needs fixing. And I’m accepting the rest with grace and a slightly sarcastic smile.

Because at the end of the day, life doesn’t need us to be perfect. It just needs us to show up. To keep trying. To keep learning.

And to keep laughing - especially at ourselves. And if all else fails? Laugh first. Breathe twice. Then fix it. It hasn’t failed me yet.

Rubene Ramdas, with 25 years of professional experience, is passionate about women’s leadership, mentorship, and the steady, compassionate guidance young professionals need as they find their place in an ever-evolving world of work. Email [email protected]

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