The joy of being single: celebrating independence, personal freedom and self-partnering

A cultural shift toward selfhood

In a late-2025 British Vogue essay, writer Chanté Joseph declared that being single is officially in style. Romantic partnerships are no longer the ultimate marker of success; in certain circles, they're even deemed “cringe.”

But this shift isn’t anti-love - it’s a recalibration of the self. It champions self-partnering, independence, and the “soft life,” where personal growth outranks traditional relationship milestones. This cultural reimagining of singlehood mirrors a broader societal truth: people are increasingly choosing themselves.

Twenty-five years single and thriving

As someone who has been single for 25 years and counting, I’ve learned that embracing singlehood as a strength, rather than a societal inadequacy, is life-changing.

When you stop treating your relationship status as something to be fixed, the door opens to profound self-love and a heightened appreciation for the beauty of living life on your own terms. Being single gives you the rare privilege of focusing exclusively on your own happiness. It affords you the freedom to design a life that reflects your values, your ambitions, and your dreams - and to flourish within it. That autonomy is a gift.

The luxury of time, energy and choice

With complete ownership of your time and decisions, you can invest in yourself without compromise. This freedom allows you to evolve, emotionally and spiritually, and move closer to self-actualisation. There is power in solitude. When you can sit with yourself - truly sit - and confront your traumas, interrogate your values, and reshape your character, you emerge grounded and resilient. You become, in a sense, invincible. 

From “table for one” to seasoned explorer

I wasn’t always this comfortable with my independence. When I began solo travelling, I used to cringe hearing, “Just one, please.”

Booking adventures, fine dining experiences, or curated excursions came with the same persistent question: “Only one? Are you sure no one is joining you?”

The lack of single-traveller discounts didn’t help. Yet, the exhilaration of solo travel - the courage required to dine alone at highly acclaimed restaurants, or to have a nine-course tasting menu prepared solely for you - makes every uncomfortable moment worth it. Those experiences define the joy of singlehood: they are yours and yours alone.

Rising standards and untouchable peace

Over time, your standards rise naturally. You stop settling. You reinforce your boundaries with confidence. Boundaries aren’t walls - they’re filters. Walking away from anything that threatens your peace becomes effortless. Eventually, anyone entering your life must compete with the comfort, joy, and security you’ve already built within yourself.

I’ve reached a beautiful place where a person’s energy must match mine or I choose silence. And silence, paired with non-reaction, is a deeply underestimated form of power.

The singledom icons

The celebration of thriving singlehood isn’t new. Dr Cheyenne Bryant, a renowned psychologist and author of Mental Detox, has long said she preferred being “single and thriving” over being in a “perfectly miserable” marriage.

Kas Naidoo believes that singleness isn’t a deficit, it’s an opportunity. As a seasoned relationship coach and the founder of Executive Matchmaking, she teaches that this phase of life is essential for rebuilding confidence, healing old patterns, and becoming the best version of yourself. Her message: don’t wait for love to make your life whole; cultivate joy and fullness within yourself first.

Celebrities have embraced this ethos loudly and proudly:

• Tracee Ellis Ross, who famously responded to being called “high maintenance” with: “I am. But I know how to maintain it myself.”

• Emma Watson, who introduced “self-partnered” into the cultural lexicon.

• Charlize Theron, who champions independence without apology.

Their message is clear: single doesn’t mean lacking - single can mean complete.

Songs have carried this anthem too - Beyoncé’s Single Ladies, Lizzo’s Good as Hell, and Ariana Grande’s 7 rings all celebrate self-love, autonomy, and joy on one’s own terms. Even Salma Hayek’s iconic quip about waiting for a man with more courage than she has underscores a simple truth: the standard is no longer companionship for companionship’s sake. The standard is courage, clarity, comprehension, and emotionally intelligent communication.

Until then… as Olivia Dean sings in Man I Need,” connection - real connection - requires presence, communication, and emotional availability.

And until the day someone shows up with those qualities, I remain blissfully committed to my autonomy, my freedom, and the pure, undeniable joy that being single provides.

I am single - and wholly, unapologetically thriving.

Michelle Caroline John is a Durban-based law graduate, editor, freelance writer, food blogger, and a self-proclaimed fashionista. With training from Toastmasters International’s Success Communication and Success Leadership programmes, John's voice challenges limiting ideas about love, identity, and womanhood. She is a passionate advocate for women’s empowerment, mental wellness, and trauma recovery. 

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