THE writer says breadwinners put the need of others first.
Image: Meta AI
LEAVING home when it is dark either by catching the earlier bus or driving your car to work, and returning home when the sun sets – you miss the entire day of your kids' smiles and their constant stares at the door as they wait for you to return. You know you are going to be late and by the time you get home, you are starved, tired and in need of a shower.
Being the only one working at home, you don’t know what supper awaits you and there was no time in the day to call home just to check in on how your children's first day at school went. You want to be present and involved in your spouse’s life, and have time and energy to give him/her, yet your legs and back aches, and you can’t seem to forget the attitude you received at work that day.
You carry the world on your shoulders as you walk past the municipality bill thinking how will you make this payment. Bills pile up, food needs to be restocked this weekend, and you really need new work shoes, but you feel it is a luxury. So you push it to next week and then the week after that, until you never end up buying it.
You go to bed exhausted, barely remembering every conversation you had since you walked through the door. Sudden guilt sinks in when you remember you snapped at your spouse and when you told your son that you would definitely take him for soccer this weekend, but the thought of it increases your anxiety because you are so burnt out. This is the reality of a breadwinner. The only person running an entire household making sure his or her family is taken care off, and that there is always food (whatever it may be) on the table.
The impact of their mental state is questionable and they come across as happy people, yet behind those smiles, there is worry and panic – even fear. They worry every day that even a minute mistake will cost them their livelihood. They put on brave faces at work and at home, and break down when nobody is watching. They go to their crappy jobs and give 100% every day to avoid another excuse for someone to use against them, and they often keep to themselves because they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders – a feeling they think nobody else would ever understand.
The unsung heroes of the world are undoubtedly, you – the breadwinners in every home. The sacrifices that you put in every day and the arrows you take to your back while protecting your family, does not go unseen. If you are a breadwinner in your home, I salute you. If nobody has ever told you this, keep going and keep persevering.
Don’t put yourself last all the time – get those shoes. Find one co-worker that you trust and just vent. Talking about it gets it out of your system and your mind (even for a little while). Someone once told me that money can always be made, and you live and experience life just once (that you know off). Money will always be tight. Money will always come and go. However, your experiences and your memories are priceless.
You don’t see it now, but even though that chair may be empty at dinner time because your bus was late, they know. They know your sacrifice and your hard work, and isn’t that all that matters to keep you going?
My father was the breadwinner in my house and he missed out on a lot because he always had to work. As I got older, I realised everything in this home, is because of him. If you are a breadwinner in your home and feel the stress of life hitting you all at once every day, take it from me – God will provide. You are doing a heroic, difficult, valiant, noble and most importantly, selfless job and that is, putting the needs of others first. We see you and we appreciate you. One day those little feet at home will grow up and see the same when they look at you – a true hero.
Kamini Rambridge
Image: Supplied
Kamini Rambridge, a business owner, gives personal insights on mental health wellness through her blog, Mental(it)y Matters, which she launched in 2023. Her initiative not only aims to create awareness, but also serves as a therapeutic outlet for her own experiences. Visit https://kamzrambridge.wixsite.com/mentalitymatters