Romance is not dead: it's just evolved! Explore the new love landscape

We’ve all heard it before, romance is dead.

Whether it’s uttered in frustration after a ghosting situation or casually thrown around in memes, the idea has taken hold. 

But if you pause the doomscrolling and take a deeper look, you’ll find romance isn’t dead, it’s just had a much-needed glow-up.

Is romance really dead? Here’s why modern love is thriving in the details

The phrase "romance is dead" has been tossed around for years, often as a lament for times when grand gestures like handwritten letters or surprise serenades were the norm.

But take a closer look at today’s relationships, and you’ll see that romance isn’t dead it’s simply evolved. Our lives move faster than ever, love has shifted from lavish displays to intentional, everyday acts of care that hit closer to the heart.

The new face of romance is more personal, practical and accessible, proving that love thrives in the details.

One clear example of this shift comes from South African YouTuber and content creator Elhadj Bah, known as “King Oumar”. In a viral video titled “Surprising my girlfriend with a romantic dinner date”, Bah demonstrates how meaningful gestures don’t need to break the bank; they just need to come from the heart.

His carefully planned evening, which included flowers, candles, handwritten notes, and music, captivated not just his girlfriend but also millions of viewers. It’s a reminder that romance today isn’t about extravagance; it’s about intentionality.

The romance blueprint: Understanding the love languages

At the core of modern romance lies a timeless truth: love flourishes when it’s expressed in ways that resonate deeply with your partner. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages remains one of the most enduring frameworks for understanding how people give and receive love.

By identifying whether your partner values words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch, or gifts, you can tailor your gestures to make them feel truly seen and appreciated.

Bah’s video is a perfect example of this philosophy in action. His girlfriend’s love for thoughtful surprises was met with a meticulously planned evening.

From sourcing decorative pieces online to positioning a heartfelt handwritten note that read “open me” as the first thing she saw, every detail was designed to show her she was his priority.

Instead of grandiosity, Bah focused on creating an intimate moment that felt personal and genuine.

How to speak your partner’s love language

Here’s how you can infuse intentionality into your relationship, using the five love languages as your guide.

Words of affirmation: Say what you mean

For those who value verbal expressions of love, thoughtful words can go a long way. Compliments, encouragement, and heartfelt notes can make your partner feel cherished.

You could gift them something as simple as The Five-Minute Journal, which can double as a space to exchange loving notes and affirmations. It’s a tangible way to keep your connection alive through meaningful words.

Quality time: Be present

We live in a world where undivided attention is rare and valuable. To help ensure you prioritise time for each other, physical planners or time-blocking apps can be a lifesaver.

Whether it’s a cosy picnic or a quiet evening cooking together, the key is to create moments where your partner feels they’re your focus.

Acts of service: Actions speak louder

Sometimes love is in the little things, making coffee in the morning, running an errand, or doing something that lightens your partner’s load. Small efforts like these can speak volumes.

Physical touch: Connection beyond words

For some, love is felt most deeply through touch, whether it’s a hug, a kiss, or simply holding hands. Enhancing these moments with small thoughtful touches can elevate the experience.

Gifts

When gifts are your partner’s love language, it’s not about how much you spend but how much thought you put into it. Online platforms like Temu make finding unique, affordable gifts easier than ever.

A recent "News24" survey found that 46% of South African shoppers saved more than half their budgets on the platform, proving that meaningful gifts are within reach for everyone.

The secret sauce of modern romance: Thoughtfulness

What Bah’s viral video and countless other everyday love stories teach us is that romance thrives on thoughtfulness.

A candlelit dinner, a handwritten note, or even an inside joke woven into a small gesture can bring you closer to your partner. It’s not about competing with Hollywood standards of love but about creating moments that feel authentic to your relationship.

A 2023 study by psychologist Dr Terri Orbuch found that couples who focus on small, thoughtful acts of affection report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships.

Whether it’s planning a surprise date or simply leaving a sticky note on the fridge, these gestures show your partner that they matter.

Romance is alive, and it’s in the details. Far from being dead, romance is alive and well, it’s just wearing a new outfit.