If a bus departs every 15 minutes
throughout the day from 9.10am
until 5.15pm, and another every
35 minutes from 9am until 3.25pm,
how many buses are there?
I have no idea either and even if
I wanted to work it out, my maths
leaves much to be desired, so I
asked the nice people at City Sight
Seeing and they said: “Sufficient to
operate an efficient service.”
Maybe they also don’t know.
There are certainly enough of those
distinctive topless red buses
trundling around the peninsula to
make an impact and cause us to
curse when we get stuck behind
them going over Kloof Nek. May I
recommend you tuck your impatience
into your back pocket and
take the time to view the world from
a new perspective?
The topless tours are one of the
best ways to get an overview of
Cape Town. They are scenic and
informative, even if the commentary
does tend to run to the overdramatic
at times, and on the two
day trips you can hop on and hop off
along the way. It doesn’t matter if
you are a first-timer or you live
here.
In fact, I would strongly urge
locals to take a little trip. When
you’re driving you don’t get to take
in the sights, and from the upper
deck of the bus you get a slightly
elevated view, perfect for peeking
into people’s windows and gardens.
Despite having driven past it countless
times, I had not noticed that the
tree outside the veterinary clinic in
Camps Bay is pruned in the shape
of a cat. So there you go.
Besides the Red tour, which covers
the city centre and Camps Bay
with 17 stops, including the lower
cable station, Castle of Good Hope
and a number of museums, and the
Blue tour that goes out to Hout Bay
by way of Kirstenbosch, there is
now the Night Tour.
A summer special, the bus
departs from the Two Oceans
Aquarium daily at 6pm until the
end of February (excluding December
31 to January 3). It’s not a hop
on-hop off trip, but you do get about
45 minutes on top of Signal Hill to
watch the sunset, so pack a picnic.
No, seriously – pack something to
eat and drink. For some strange reason
no one has thought of erecting
a refreshment stand on the hill.
I had long finished my cool drink
and had no decent picnic to speak
of. If you get caught out like this as
you board the bus you, too, will be
dismayed to find there is nowhere
in the immediate vicinity of the bus
stop to buy something tasty. Which
is how I ended up with a polystyrene
container of chicken fried
rice from the Chinese take-away.
The bus takes the coastal road
from the V&A Waterfront. You can
listen to the commentary, in one of
14 languages, through the headphones
they give you at the ticket
office, including to “children”, who
also get an activity pack. It was
interesting, although as a local I
found it amusing in places, but in a
familiar, inside-joke kind of way.
Through Camps Bay, the bus
doubles back and goes up Signal
Hill. Be warned, though – as the season
peaks and traffic congests, this
stop may at times be replaced with
Table Mountain Road and the lower
cable station. It’s purely a matter of
logistics: the buses won’t be able to
get up the narrow road or turn.
Which is a pity, because this tour is
all about the magnificent sunset.
It’s a bit weird, though, watching
everyone wandering around with
cameras in hand, waiting as the sun
slides towards the ocean, as if in
anticipation of some great cosmic
event. Yes, it happens every day, but
I am the first to admit it’s a special
experience, and although there
were a lot of like-minded souls up
there doing the same thing, it was
fairly peaceful.
The bus takes you back into town
along Adderley Street to ooh-aah
over the festive lights, which are
pretty this year.
Besides the picnic and wine, you
should definitely pack something
warm. Do not be misled by warm,
wind-free pockets of Cape Town;
that south-easter can come up at
any time and after dark it can be
chilly upstairs on the bus. If you’re
doing it in the day – hat, sunglasses,
and for the love of all things holy,
lots of sunblock. I’m sure you don’t
need me to tell you to take a camera.
The Night Tour lasts about two
and a half hours, and costs R80 for
adults, R40 for children between
five and 15 years. It comes free with
a two-day tour, which is R200 for the
two routes done on consecutive
days. A single day trip is R120.
. For full details call 021 511 6000
or go to www.citysighteeing.co.za
PS: If you are paunchy, pasty
white with a T-shirt tan, chest hair
long enough to braid and a terrible
tattoo you should NOT go topless.