Help furnish first shelter for abused men in eThekwini

WITH about 14 men allegedly having attempted suicide due to abuse over the past month, the DSK Group and One Stop Foundation are hoping to open the doors of the first shelter for abused men in eThekwini soon.

Daniel Chettiar, the founder of the DSK Group, said they were appealing for assistance to furnish the property by October 31.

He said following a recent site visit by the KZN Department of Social Development (DSD), they were now required to renovate the property and ensure it was in line with the policy for sheltering services.

“We have a deadline to get the place furnished, so we can officially open by early December. We have to make sure the victims are safe and feel protected, and most importantly, in an environment that is therapeutic.

“We will be offering a safe space for up to 20 men from 18 years upwards, as well as for those that have children in their care. While renovations to the exterior of the property are underway, we need to furnish the interior, which includes beds, bedding, curtains, couches, and kitchen appliances, among all other items that a home would require,” he said.

Chettiar said they assisted with the gender-based violence cases across the country and had seen an influx of calls from men who had been victims since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020.

“We were receiving up to 20 calls a day from men. From those calls, at least five of the men needed assistance in terms of reporting to the police or medical attention. But there were no shelters for abused men in eThekwini. We reached out to shelters in other parts of KZN or in other provinces, but 90% of the time, they were at full capacity,” he said.

Chettiar said some of the cases were related to emotional, physical, mental and financial abuse - perpetrated by spouses, parents, children and other relatives.

“While it may be shocking and unbelievable that men are victims of gender-based violence, it is the harsh reality. It is not something that is spoken about in society - or by the victims as they fear that no one would believe them or they are embarrassed and feel they will be judged. Some have tried to kill themselves because they don’t know where else to turn for help. We have dealt with 14 attempted suicide cases over the past month,” he said.

Chettiar, who is also the chairperson of the North Coast Rapid Response Team (RRT), said in some of the cases, the men reported that they were beaten by their wives, especially if they were not earning enough money.

“We are dealing with cases where wives have hit their husbands with belt buckles, appliances, or any object they can get their hands on. They have also been stabbed or had boiling water thrown on them.

“Young men have been thrown onto the streets by their parents, in some cases by the step-parent because they are ‘invading their privacy’. Some are beaten and thrown out of their homes after their parent’s die, even if it is legally their property. We recently found a young man on the streets of Phoenix. His relative beat him to a pulp. Another young man was ‘selling’ himself after being kicked out. This was so he could pay for a shelter and buy food. He was also beaten by his ‘client’.

“Sadly, some men feel that abuse against women and children is seemingly taken more seriously and highlighted more often, that nothing would be done when they speak out. They will be accused of being the instigator. Furthermore, the issue is not in just some communities, but extends right from the North to South Coast of KZN,” he said.

Chettiar said while at the shelter the men would receive counselling and help to get back on their feet.

“We want to give them a new lease on life. We will help them deal with the trauma through our various programmes. But in order for us to do this, we need to open our doors soon, and are now appealing to the community to assist us,” he said.

Dayalan Odayar, chairperson of the One Stop Foundation, said they decided to get on board after assisting the DSK Group with its various community initiatives.

“Having worked hand in hand with the organisation, by providing security and medical assistance, we saw how great a need there was for a shelter facility for men who are GBV victims. We spent hours sitting with the victims after assisting them, as there were no facilities that could take them in.

“We had previously used the property, which was our old family home, to assist flood victims. However, it had been standing vacant for some time, and we decided to use it to help others again, especially so we don’t have more people on the streets. After a two-year battle to get this initiative moving, we are grateful to the DSD for giving us the go-ahead. But we now are appealing to the public and businesses for their support,” he said.

If you would like to assist, call 081 569 7149, 069 831 5489 or 062 324 0686.

THE POST