Voices of survival: Poovendhrie Roja Naidoo's fight against sexual violence

A FORMER Durban woman shared her harrowing experiences of sexual abuse and harassment, highlighting her journey from victimhood to empowerment.

Through her foundation, she advocates for stricter laws against sexual predators and encourages open discussions about these critical issues.

Poovendhrie Roja Naidoo, 44, formerly of Mariannhill, said the first violation occurred when she was around five-years-old, after her father had passed away. 

“We had a close family friend and I wanted to visit them so I could play with their daughter, who was about my age. That evening, her dad offered to drive me back home. I am not entirely sure why my friend didn’t come along, but perhaps because it was a single-cab bakkie.

“But on the way home, he pulled over and started touching me between my legs. I was terrified. I cried and kicked, but he didn’t stop. He pleasured himself while touching me. As a child, none of it made sense. I was confused, scared, and silent when I got home. I didn’t tell my mom anything until many years later. By that time, he had already passed away,” she said.

Naidoo, who now lives in Johannesburg, said when she was about seven-years-old, she attended a religious organisation in Chatsworth every Sunday.

“The group met in the garage of the religious leader’s home. I recall that one particular Sunday, I felt sick and my mom took me inside the house. She laid me on the couch to rest until the service ended. The house was empty, and because I had grown up around everyone there, I felt safe.

“A few minutes later, the religious leader’s son came inside to use the toilet. When he finished, he made a few funny faces at me and came closer, asking what was wrong. I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He sat next to me and asked me to give him a kiss. I refused, but he forced one anyway. I felt deeply uncomfortable and tried to push him away. Fortunately, his wife walked in at that moment and he rushed off. Once again, I was spared but only just,” she said. 

Naidoo said the next incident occurred as a teenager. 

“A respected leader from one of the branches of the religious organisation we belonged to visited our home. He had come by to collect something and was standing in our kitchen. I had known him for a long time and always greeted him respectfully, with my palms together.

“That morning, as I walked into the kitchen, my mom had stepped away to fetch what he needed. He held out his arms for a hug. I was hesitant but went forward, trusting that he was a good man, and that my mom was just around the corner. But he immediately betrayed that trust. Instead of a hug he squeezed my breasts,” she said. 

Naidoo, a sales manager, said she was not spared as an adult either, when a colleague insisted that she kiss him. 

“In 2022, I was working for a large listed company in Johannesburg, holding a senior position and reporting directly to the national operations manager. During a sales conference, he became intoxicated and insisted that I kiss him. By this time in my life, I was confident and no longer afraid to stand my ground. I walked away from the situation and reported it as workplace sexual harassment.

“He admitted to finding me attractive and acknowledged his guilt. Although the managing director and financial director wrote a letter confirming his actions, they refused to change my reporting line. Ultimately, I had no choice but to leave my position, abandoning a promising career and all the benefits that came with it. I had to start over at a new company,” she said. 

Naidoo said the incidents left her feeling uncomfortable to be alone in a vehicle with a man. 

“It triggered anxiety every time I needed to be in that situation and also carried over into corporate settings when I had to travel with male colleagues. I preferred to sit in the back seat, which sometimes seemed strange to others. There were times when my colleague or boss would insist I sit in the front seat, and I would reluctantly comply, with a knot in my stomach. Thankfully, I was safe in these situations and eventually learned to trust these individuals, but there was always that initial stress and anxiety."

Naidoo said being open and talking about her experiences had helped her cope. 

“In addition, having a support system is crucial. But I recommend seeking one outside of your immediate circle. In this way, you don’t feel restricted in expressing your feelings without the need to sugar-coat anything.”

Naidoo added that she started The Kros Foundation in 2020. 

“I believe my voice is the voice of so many and that God has a purpose for my pain.  I initially started the foundation to raise funds to support victims of domestic violence, including providing assistance with court support. However, when I decided to open up about my own experiences, I noticed that it encouraged other women to share their stories as well. This inspired me to continue sharing my personal experiences because, as victims, we should never be ashamed of what has happened to us. We did not ask for this.”

Naidoo added that the government should implement stricter sentences for sexual predators because the current penalties often did not reflect the severity of their crimes.

“One important step towards this would be the creation of a publicly accessible sexual offender registry, where the identities and photos of convicted sexual offenders are made available to the public. This could be shared across various platforms, such as online databases, public notices, and social media.

“It is also crucial that we take a more proactive approach to protect our children and vulnerable individuals from harm. Mothers and caregivers must teach their children what types of touch are unacceptable. We need to educate them about body safety, teaching them that their bodies are theirs to protect, and that it’s okay to say no.

“In addition, religious organisations need to have clear policies in place to ensure that there are no situations where children are left alone with a religious leader. It’s crucial to remember that even in places of worship, children are at risk, and safeguards must be in place,” she said. 

Naidoo added that she considered herself one of the fortunate ones, having escaped with fewer scars than many others. 

“When I think about the level of pain that others have endured, it truly humbles me. It is a reminder to be kind to everyone, as you never know what someone else might be going through.”

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