Umhlatuzana father baffled by 21-year-old son’s bridge suicide

AN UMHLATUZANA family are struggling to come to terms with the death of their son, who ended his life by jumping off the N2 Umgeni interchange bridge on Saturday, less than two weeks after they celebrated his 21st birthday.

Nickeel Gokul, above, a computer science and engineering student at Varsity College, was described as an “exceptional child” who was an outstanding student.

His distraught father, Pranesh Gokul, said they were baffled about why their son took his own life, in the way which he did – by jumping from the bridge.

“Nickeel had exceptional qualities, and was very respectful. He did well in his academics and spent most of his time on his computer. He did not have a girlfriend, so it could not be any relationship problems which could have led him to suicide.

“He did not have financial problems, or any other problems that we knew of. I cannot understand why he would do something like this … and feel like he could not come to us,” Gokul said.

A police source told the POST that a truck driver, who was apparently driving behind Nickeel’s VW Polo, had seen him suddenly stop his car on the bridge.

“The truck driver saw him stop, but he did not think anything sinister and continued driving. He then noticed that the young man jumped off his car and then threw himself over the bridge. It was too late for the truck driver to do anything,” said the source.

“The truck driver then stopped further down the road and notified a tow-truck driver about what had happened. He went to investigate and found the young man’s body.

“Sadly, he had died instantly. There was no suicide note on him or in his vehicle. He turned 21 on September 9,” added the source.

Gareth Naidoo, head of KZN VIP Emergency Services, said they received multiple calls about a suicide just after midday on Saturday.

“Members of the public informed us that a black TSI VW Polo had pulled over near the bridge, and moments later, a man jumped off the bridge,” said Naidoo.

.Dr Nazia Iram Osman, a clinical psychologist registered with the Health Professions Council of South Africa, urged people to refrain from sharing a video taken shortly after Nickeel’s death.

The video was made by a passerby who filmed Nickeel’s vehicle and then his body lying on the road.

“When people video these types of incidents and share it on social media, it can be detrimental for the family. It is very sensitive and disturbing for whoever sees it. Those who shared the video are equally as insensitive as the person who made the video. “It has a psychological impact on family and sensitive viewers. Seeing a video of this nature could push a suicidal person over the edge.

“If someone took a video, they should share it with police only, for the purposes of assisting the investigation, and not circulate it on social media,” Osman added.

She said suicide in men was common, especially among younger men.

“Suicide is usually the last resort when one feels like they have no hope and they are completely despondent. There is usually a build-up and the cry for help starts with smaller gestures or even in conversation. The person might say things like ‘It is okay to die,’ or they might make dark jokes about death or how life would be better without them around

“Suicide can be spontaneous especially if intoxicated but most of the time it's due to depression and some negative life event that precedes this. Major depressive disorder is a low mood, not enjoying things they used to enjoy before, change in appetite, sleep, energy, not taking pride in their appearance, not being able to function cognitively as they did before, drop in self-esteem and thought of dying or committing suicide,” Osman added.

She said while suicide in men was more common, females had more attempts and a higher rate of self-harm and anxiety and depression.

“Females talk about their problems more and seek help. Men often suppress their emotions and feel shame in admitting they not coping, they also choose more aggressive behaviours in terms of suicide.

“The problem is that men do not seek help. Even if support was there, they might not utilise it. To curb the suicide rate among men, the focus first and foremost should be to remove stigma of mental health conditions in men and get them comfortable to talk about what is going on.

“This support can be through social media or even in how we talk amongst ourselves for the discourse needs to change. The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) offers free online services and support groups for both men and women.

“Every government hospital has mental health services and even though the wait may be long, if we can encourage our men to access these, we could save a life.

“Usually there is a precipitation event, like the final straw, that breaks the camel's back. It usually happens when the person is depressed and does not seek help. 

“The mind becomes exhausted. If untreated, depression can lead to further complications like physical health issues, suicidal behaviour and even psychotic symptoms. Getting help in time is essential,” Osman added.

In a separate incident on Sunday, a man had allegedly locked himself in the toilet at Beach Bums, a restaurant north of Durban, and shot himself. He survived the shooting.

Beach Bums released a statement saying: ‘We are deeply saddened to confirm that a member of our community allegedly attempted to take his own life in our restroom. Our thoughts are with him, his family and loved ones at this very difficult time.

“We will not share details about the person involved as this is a private, painful matter and deserves respect. However, because false and sensational posts are circulating online we need to correct the record.

“This was an alleged suicide attempt, there was no other person present in the restrooms during this time. This was not an act of violence. It was not someone being shot, stabbed or attacked. It was not a drunken fight, gang-related or otherwise criminal in nature.”

THE POST