Are women really doing it by themselves?

THE month of August reminds us of the various plights that women endure globally irrespective of ethnicity, class, race and educational qualifications. But central to every woman is the struggle to be able to blend into this globalised economic workforce, sustain family lifeways, upkeep religious and cultural responsibilities and engage in social responsibility initiatives within their communities.

The roles and the contributions that women make to the development and well-being of others often goes without recognition as patriarchal cultures have normalised these valuable inputs. It is a well-known perception that culture has a relative influence of how individuals and society think and feel.

Our cultural influences are continuously evolving and condone or reject behaviours of individuals within a society. As we have evolved, we now have adopted a dominant culture of individuality, where one is really encouraged to live life on one’s own terms, and be at ease and at their best despite what society may perceive as healthy and progressive.

The benefit of this change is that society views an individual as an individual and no longer a representative of a collective family unit or community. However, the tendency for people to compare one individual with another, especially one successful woman with another, has become prevalent, and we fail to realise that career women are still not doing it all by themselves.

Many have a tribe of people behind them which comprise of men and women that support them in varying ways so that women in demanding lifestyles can be as productive and as efficient as possible. Many of us rely on domestic help within our households and extended family members to assist with child-rearing, household management and the preparation of meals as well as the transportation of our kids to school on a daily basis.

In a society that has normalised the average woman donning so many caps, the struggle now seems to be (for) emotional, mental and physical well-being despite how capable, educated and successful women are.

Compounding these symptoms, is that some women tend to be so critical of themselves and often feel that their efforts in their career trajectory, family and personal life are insufficient. There is a dominant tendency for women to now compete against one another, rather than supporting one another in the multiple roles we play in our homes and in society.

Often these comparisons are based on inaccurate information, assumptions and personal inhibitions of where some of us aspire to be. We fail to look at the fact that even though there is a individual culture that exists, that women are still not doing it entirely by themselves.

There are those that can be classified as wonder woman, who have had no option but to do it by themselves and still continue to do so. Then there are others that have the help of loved ones that alleviate responsibilities and chores.

This platform is so central to systematic functionality of the family’s needs, household management, successful business operations and alike.

As women, we often celebrate our individuality, persona and continual development. How often are we honest enough to indicate that we have walked miles with the support of domestic labour, spouses, parents and other relatives?

This month allows us to bask in the glory of our capacities, successes, and growth patterns to achieve equality, but do we really acknowledge those that serve us and thank them appropriately?

As much as we have shifted to an individual culture, we still very much belong to families and communities that continually impact our lives daily. At times, these impacts are both negative and positive, but as human beings we are intrinsically meant to connect, befriend, share and support one another.

We see the formation of small communities founded by immigrants and foreigners alike wherever they immigrate. The need to connect, share and develop relations built on emotions and friendship are central to both men and women.

During the era of Indian immigration to South Africa, strong community and collective values were prioritised, but in an era of individual values and identities, we still observe how various people come together despite their class, culture and nationality.

This August, let’s celebrate our capacity to be the multi-taskers that we are, but we need to also acknowledge those around us that support us in every little way. Sisterhood is one way of describing a collective ethos, but are we truly sisters if we choose not to acknowledge, respect and appreciate each other?

Central to embracing sisterhood is paying kudos to one another, without competing with each other. In the challenging socio-economic context of South Africa’s society, let us be realistic in the way we depict how and why we progress and evolve to greater heights.

Dr Sheetal Bhoola has a PhD and two Master’s degrees in the social sciences. She is a lecturer, researcher and a freelance writer. Bhoola has been the recipient of awards and academic scholarships throughout her career. Visit www. sheetalbhoola.com.

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