Trump's rush to redraw world map
DENNIS PATHER
IT was some six years ago, way back in November 2018, that I had suspicions Donald Trump suffered from verbal incontinence.
No, don't get me wrong, it was not some kind of medical diagnosis.
You see, he was in his first term of office as US president then.
And whenever he opened his mouth, he appeared incapable of exercising any voluntary control over what came out in an uncontrollable gush.
These classic symptoms of verbal incontinence were so evident when he began spewing out vitriol about.illegal immigrants invading his country; hurling insulting remarks about what he called the s***hole countries of sub-Saharan Africa; labelling Hillary Clinton "crooked"; and accusing Iranians of sponsoring terrorirm throughout the world.
Well, it's six years later today, he is president again, and has anything changed?
Not on your nelly.
In fact, his verbal incontinence has intensified.
Try to imagine a typical morning in the White House since his inauguration.. It probably goes like this.
"No, no, Ivana, no time for breakfast today. I've got too much on my plate already."
"I have to build a wall, annex Greenland, take over Panama, and hit Canada and Mexico with new tariffs.
"Then I've got some bomb clearing and ethnic cleansing to take care of in Gaza, transform that demolishment site into a Riviera, organise to transport all those millions of Palestinians to Egypt and Jordan and move more settlers into Gaza.
"The list doesn't stop there, Ivana.Then I'll have to stop the land grabs in South Africa, buy some falafel and hummus for the Natanyahus, and sign those 256-odd executive orders I dreamed up last night in my sleep.
"I've been practising my signature the entire night'
"And then I,ve got to contend with those hordes of liberal bleeding heart hacks who ask awkward questions at press conferences.No worry though, I've got a plan tol just flood the press room with pliant right wing hacks to turn the tide in my favour.
"So, I hope you understand, Honey. Gotta go, and if you need money for anything from the White House spaza shop, just ask Elon. He's loaded"
"Bye for now. I'm off to redraw the map of the world and make America great again."
Down to a T
I recently came across a clever piece of writing by someone called Sashi Tharoor.
What's absolutely amazing about this short essay is that all the words start with the letter T.
Because of its length, I will restrict myself to just one segment.
"The tongue's terrible tendency to tell tall tales totally tarnishes traditional transcommunication theories.
"The tempestuous tirades traceable to the tongue testify to the traumatic tactics of this tiny tab of tissue.
"Thousands that take the time to think, try to tame the tumultuous torrent of the too talkative tongue.
Temporarily, the tide turns.. Towering tempers turn to tenderness.
Then, tragically, the trend tapers. The tongue trips, teeters, then takes a tumble; the temptation to trifling twaddle triumphs."
Whether Tharoor was writing in general or referring to anyone in particular is open to conjecture.
Honouring the legend
Veteran journalist Fakir Hassen is a man on a mission - to immortalise the legacy of legendary Indian singer Mohammed Rafi among ordinary South Africans.
He pulled off a stunning South African tribute to Rafi in Durban last week when a packed audience of music fans, artists, socialites, cultural leaders and media personalities were treated to a nostalgic trip down memory lane featuring live performances by local singers. Many fans joined in the singing, clapped and danced in their seats as entertainers performed a repertoire of Mohammed Rafi.evergreens.
December 24 marked the centenary of Rafi's birth.
Last week's show also marked the local launch of Hassen's latest book (his 34th), "Sau Saal Pehle" which paints a fascinating South African perspective of the life and times of the legendary singer.
As Hassen observed: "Although many volumes have been written documenting the life of Mohammed Rafi, little has been preserved on his connection to South Africa."
Take a bow, Fakir!
Our shut-eye MPs
"I have it on good legal authority that you could face disciplinary action of some kind or another in South Africa if you're caught sleeping on the job.
And since we are all equal in the eyes of the law, such penalties should apply to all South Afriicans - and that includes our honourable Members of Parliament
After all, MPs are paid to look after the wellbeing and interests of their constituencies, so napping on duty should carry a sanction of some sort.
The story goes that in Britain, a lawmaker called Sir Desmond Swane was once caught red-handed falling asleep during a debate. He was apparently sprawled out almost horizontally in full view of the House of Commons cameras before being shrugged awake by an usher.
It's in fact happening so often in Britain these days,an online petition was started recently to fire MPs who fall asleep on duty.
I doubt our Parliamentary officials would go to such lengths to discourage House snorers, although many believe our forty winkers should be called out and made an example of in public.
A colleague covering Parliament in Cape Town tells me some MPs on the back benches are such seasoned serial offenders, they can virtually do it with their eyes closed.
Dennis Pather is a retired newspaper editor, author and columnist. Email him at kaydenpather@gmail.com
* From newsroom gofer to award-winning editor, join South African media legend Dennis Pather on a fascinating trip down memory lane in his captivating memoir, Copy Boy. This heart-warming journey takes you inside the newsroom, filled with laughter, hard-earned wisdom, and the power of family. As a special offer to readers of POST, you can now get a copy of Copy Boy, for just R100. WhatsApp 078 593 0585 for delivery details or 083 452 2831 for direct collection.
** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.