The family picnic

One in four people experience a mental health issue like depression, anxiety or eating disorders. Mental Health is the second largest pandemic in the world, yet seeing a therapist to help resolve issues still carries a huge stigma. Therapy is simply a conversation with a trained health care professional. A psychologist usually undertakes a seven year study to qualify and has to be registered with the Health Professions Council of South Africa in order to practice. Psychologists are bound by a very strict code of ethics and all interactions between the therapist and patient are strictly confidential. If you are experiencing a Mental Health Issue, and unsure about your approach, feel free to write to me at [email protected].

I WAS recently invited to a picnic hosted by the Shree Parsuram Darjee Association. This is an annual event attended by mostly Gujerathi people who belong to the Darjee caste.

The Darjee community is traditionally associated with tailoring and garment making. The main objective of this event is to bring together the community in a fun, social setting. The added bonus is the delicious food on offer all day long, with kebabs on the braai being the highlight. A group of very seasoned men and women braai masters oversee the braai. 

I am sometimes reluctant to attend because I am out of my comfort zone as I do not speak the language of Gujerathi, although I can understand it.

I credit my late father-in-law for speaking a few words to me in the language and then translating it in English. Over time, I consciously started learning more of the language. I attend the event when I can, as a courtesy to my husband.

This is his community.

The picnic gave me an opportunity to meet his extended family and friends.

 One couple flew to Durban specially for the kebab. Yet another family who came on holiday from Australia was joyously welcomed.

The thing that struck me the most is how this community has evolved from being a very patriarchal one to being so very inclusive. Modern society has seen more women step up to become breadwinners and have equal status.  

Catching up with family and enjoying the great camaraderie was great. In this day and age, many of us are too busy to physically visit each other. Our children know their children by name only. They missed out on the fun things that cousins did in our day. But that was a different era.

Historically, a family is between persons of the same blood or by marriage. However, with the ever-changing dynamics around us, the definition of family is extended. We now have “home” families “friend” families and “work” families.

Yet the connectedness and benefits are the same. The feel-good hormone, Dopamine, makes us so happy when we see our families.

Families are important for good mental health because they provide emotional and psychological security. We express it by feelings of love and care. The family is a valuable social institution as it works according to a set of mutually beneficial guidelines. Sometimes, it’s just about caring for a family member who is sick, other times, it’s about assisting with food, shelter, money or clothing. Sadly, we are hearing more cases of families not speaking to each other, even going so far as cutting all ties and taking out interdicts against each other. That is so unfortunate. We should do better.

While the object of the Family Picnic is to bring the community together, the Shree Parsuram Darjee Association is not about a clan. They do great philanthropic work, the most notable being giving out bursaries for higher education.

I am glad that I went to the picnic and met friends and family. Lots of telephone numbers were exchanged and hopefully we will continue to engage regularly, although I'm not sure if I can keep up with yet another WhatsApp group!

By the way, the kebabs were a hit!

Dr Kalyan is a psychologist, life coach and Reiki practitioner

Dr Kalyan is a psychologist, life coach and Reiki practitioner. 

POSTPLUS