Breaking the silence: empowering change against gender-based violence in the Indian community

AS A BUSINESS leader, I often advise clients on regulatory and tax matters and provide counsel on challenging family situations. Many colleagues have also noted that we are increasingly requested to act as counsellors rather than just technical experts because of the trusting relationship we have with our clients.

I am frequently called upon to help women escape difficult marriages without financial support. Listening to their stories of abuse makes me question how any woman can be subject to such treatment in today’s world. We should have more control over how we permit our partners to treat us.

On Friday, November 21, a national shutdown occurred to raise awareness about gender-based violence (GBV), organised by Women for Change. This movement resulted in GBV and femicide being declared a national disaster under the Disaster Management Act. This marks a significant victory for all. While GBV in South Africa is often termed a “second pandemic,” for many women in the Indian community, it remains a daily, hidden reality marked by silence, shame, and fear.

As an Indian woman and business leader, I cannot ignore the issues I see within our homes and communities. The 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign serves as a mirror reflecting the reality that our Indian community is not exempt from this issue; we are simply quieter about it.

Gender-based violence often hides behind notions of respectability and the pressure to "keep the family together". It remains a taboo topic, leading many to accept their circumstances in silence. This abuse is not limited to physical harm; it encompasses emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual violence. For example, a wife may be belittled by her husband while being advised to "adjust." A daughter might face threats for wanting to leave an abusive relationship for fear of bringing shame to her family. Women who are financially dependent often feel like burdens, and even successful professional women can experience fear at home. Abuse knows no boundaries in our society.

In the Indian community, we grow up with strong values of family, duty, and respect for elders. While these values can be positive when rooted in love, they can also be harmful when used to silence victims and protect abusers. Misusing cultural beliefs leads to phrases like “What will people say?” or “A good wife endures,” which trap women in violent situations. Some are told that divorce is more shameful than physical bruises, as if a lavish wedding justifies enduring abuse.

Additionally, patriarchy is often normalised in subtle ways within families. Boys frequently receive more freedom and support than girls, who are taught to serve and remain silent. This dynamic creates environments where control and disrespect toward women are accepted. To address GBV, we must confront the beliefs and behaviours in our community that minimise women’s pain and excuse men’s violence.

One of the biggest challenges we face is the silence surrounding abuse in families. We often whisper and avoid open discussions, prioritising family reputations over the truth. This silence inadvertently protects the abuser. Our community must shift from silencing survivors to actively supporting them. We should believe women when they speak out, reject forced reconciliation, and stop hiding abuse during family gatherings. We must also stand with women who choose to leave abusive situations, even if it is uncomfortable or contradicts traditional views of a “good” woman or “successful” family.

Ending GBV requires collective effort from everyone, not just the government or NGOs. It starts in our daily environments - homes, workplaces, places of worship, and communities. At home, we should encourage respect and teach boys that true strength lies in valuing consent, while helping girls recognise their worth beyond domestic roles. We must reject jokes and comments that belittle women, as our actions shape children’s beliefs.

Places of worship hold significant influence. Faith leaders should recognise signs of abuse, support victims safely, and firmly state that abuse is unacceptable in all contexts. In workplaces, establishing clear GBV policies and providing safe support channels can make a significant impact. Practising confidentiality, training managers, and offering flexible schedules for legal or counselling needs can transform work environments into safe havens. Together, we can work toward a future free from GBV. 

We must actively support the organisations working on the ground. Shelters, legal clinics, helplines, and community-based groups tirelessly serve their communities, often with limited resources. Those who have networks, influence, or resources - such as individuals, businesses, and professionals - can partner with these organisations. Support can take many forms: financial contributions, pro bono services, mentorship, skills development, or simply amplifying their work so that women know where to turn for help.

Raising awareness during 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign is vital, but without accountability, it leads to minimal change. Men must hold each other responsible for harmful behaviours, and families should not welcome back abusers without consequences. Communities need to support survivors throughout the legal process, even when cases become public. Leaders in business, politics, and faith must courageously speak out, even at the risk of backlash.

To every woman living in fear: your safety, dignity, and life matter more than family reputation, social expectations, or cultural pressures. You are not alone, and what is happening to you is not your fault. To every man reading this: GBV will not end simply because women are more careful. It will end when men choose to behave differently, challenge one another, and unlearn harmful ideas about power and entitlement.

To our Indian community: we possess deep love, resilience, and solidarity. As we mark 165 years since the arrival of Indians in South Africa, let’s reflect - have we truly arrived? We must now focus our strength on addressing gender-based violence - not later, but now. Healing begins with acknowledgment. Let’s choose courage over comfort and action over silence, so we can build homes and communities where every woman and girl is safe, valued, and free.

Jennifer Reddy is the CEO, Morar Incorporated.

** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media. 

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