The town of Bedlam

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth" is the opening statement of the Bible. (Genesis 1:1). And needless to say, anything our Creator makes, is perfect and works well. But Almighty Father who art in heaven, no disrespect meant, I implore you – what on earth went wrong with Verulam?

I broached this subject in May last year and spoke about the history of the town, and its trajectory through the decades. Until now when we have our own little tombstone! The irony is that if we see a horse galloping through the streets of Verulam, it will not surprise us. The town still has the patina of an old village. Marvellous memories and the antique look of a faded past.

Dear residents of Bedlam, oops, Verulam, I am not in any way running your wonderful town down. If you recall my previous column, I absolutely love the town as I spent much of my formative years there, and had, and still have some amazing acquaintances residing there. The first mayor of Verulam, YS Chinsamy, was a distant relative of mine. Some would argue about calling him by that title as it is not factually accurate. Okay, for the purists: Chinsamy led the Verulam Indian Town Board in the 1970s when the area was busy with residential and industrial development. When the town achieved borough status, he was appointed first mayor of the Verulam Borough Council.

Mayor Schmayor! He did the job and was well known for it. Another gentleman I have fond memories of also served in the council. Narain Murugas was one of my teachers in Pommern Lane Primary School in Avoca. He was a strict individual and his countenance enforced that. However, he was a good man and a great teacher. All us male pupils admired him as he was a car speed aficionado. He had a trusty Peugeot 404 and he made that classic vehicle fly. So, he was a hero to us impressionable schoolboys. I would love for him to make contact with me again.

I would not be true to myself if I did not mention the incredible Reaction Unit of South Africa, popularly known as Rusa. These men in black are always busy in and around town. They fight crime and just about anything out of the ordinary. And in Verulam, trust me, they have their work cut out for them. Their work is well documented on social media, so I won’t elaborate too much here.

Recently an aged gentleman was cooking a meal and realised that he had no curry leaves. No problem, as he had some growing in the garden. Unfortunately, while cutting some, he slipped and fell down an incline and could not stand up nor get up the incline. Rusa to the rescue. Using an ingenious method with ropes, uncle was safely retrieved by the members. I just thought about what lengths we go through to make the perfect curry.

And then more recently, another uncle was cooking chicken curry on a gas stove outside his residence. He stepped inside briefly to get some accoutrements. On his return to the pot, there was no pot. A thief had stolen the pot, stepped on the gas and escaped hurriedly. A case of “fowl” play or was he cooking a “running fowl”? Thereafter, uncle did the chicken run.

Talking creatures, the unit assists the residents by catching errant reptiles and animals that wander into their home space. Especially snakes. And this being Verulam, these are not ordinary snakes, but black mambas, the most dangerous snakes on Earth. The area manager, Nkosinathi Ndaba, is despatched to catch these venomous uninvited guests. Social media is always buzzing by some people stating that it is because it is a black mamba that Ndaba is sent, and for any other snake they will despatch an Indian officer.

Eish, just hiss off please. The reason he is sent is because he is specially trained in the art of snake-catching, and therefore, he is the most qualified for the job. Not everything has a racist angle. There are also many sightings of green mambas. Who would they send out? The Incredible Hulk?

Other happenings in and around Verulam that make the news. The popular Hazelmere Dam was the venue for some hanky panky by an aged couple in a car. The uncle got too carried away because thereafter at a garage pit stop, he relieved aunty of her Sassa pension card and emptied it. The card I mean. A terribly ungentlemanly thing to do.

Another major tragedy occurred on December 12 last year, in Redcliffe, Verulam, where a building collapsed at the River Range Ranch while under construction, leaving five people dead and multiple injured.

The one positive thing about Verulam is that it is never dull and boring. By the way it’s about time that I visited there again. You have been warned. Heaven forbid.

** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media. 

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