The legendary actor Robert Redford, of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid fame, once said: 'I have no regrets, because I have done everything I could to the best of my ability.'
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Ah ... “the crazy life”.
The title of this piece was also the title of a hit song by Ricky Martin in 1999. As I write this, the song is playing in my mind. It was a favourite of mine and I played it on my radio show and my dance parties ad infinitum. It means “the crazy life” in English.
If you could get into a time machine and go back to another period in your life, and could change the course of events, what would you like to undo? Many of us would long to go back to a time when we still had a father or mother, or both, still alive and enjoying their love and care. I know that is a constant yearning of mine.
Maybe you would want to go back and relive an unrequited romantic interest just to see how it would have panned out if things were different. Now that is definitely not something I long for. My wife and her mother read my columns. I may be crazy, but I am certainly not suicidal.
Possibly you would like to go back to a moment when you could restrain yourself from saying something that had caused bad relations between a loved one and yourself for a long period of time. Yes, in an ideal world where miracles can happen, the above would be a reality. However, let’s stop there and ponder something. All the above scenarios come with regrets. Henceforth, maybe we could attempt living our lives in a more solicitous way whereby we would not cause intended or accidental hurt to our family and friends.
In a nutshell, attempt to live your life with no regrets. The legendary actor Robert Redford, of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid fame, once said: “I have no regrets, because I have done everything I could to the best of my ability."
There is a Latin saying: Primum non nocere, which loosely translated means, “first, do no harm”.
It is popularly attributed to being part of the Hippocratic Oath which medical practitioners are sworn to. However, popular theory is that it is not factually correct. Rather, “abstain from doing harm” is part of the oath. What is correct is that it is a good maxim by which to live our limited lives which we are blessed with on this earth. Do no harm, verbally or physically.
In pondering this subject before writing it, I asked myself the following question: “what kind of person will people remember me as being when I die?”
So, I ask you – how would you like to be known when you "shuffle off this mortal coil"?
I would like to be remembered as being a kind and loving person, who brooked no nonsense, but yet, was caring and sensitive to the needs and feelings of my friends and neighbours. I can make that happen. It is within my power to do so. If I care enough to watch what I say and do every day, every hour, every minute of my life. It may seem scrupulously tedious to do that, but ultimately it will be the right thing to do.
To quote William Shakespeare in one of his most famous tragedic plays, Julius Caesar, when his character Mark Anthony was whipping the crowd into a frenzy to avenge Caesar’s assassination: “The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.”
Some people have gone down in history as being bad, or even downright evil. Names like Adolf Hitler and Idi Amin trip off the brain easily. Let’s strive not to be included in a similar roll of (dis)honour. How do we do endeavour to be good and leave a positive impression when we reach the "hereafter"? How about while we are alive and able, tell the ones that you love how much you do love them. Regularly! Say it and follow it up with deeds that reinforce the loving words.
As hard as it may be, try and be forgiving of others. If what they say and do does not harm us or our family badly, try and make peace and seek no vengeance. Settling difficulties immediately allows them not to fester within ourselves and thereby make us bitter and unhappy.
My last advice as far as living with no regret is a four letter word. Time. Without sounding morbid, our time on this planet is limited. Make the best use of what is allocated to us. Spend quality time with your loved ones. Make special memories. These are the things that will outlast our existence. They are moments that will make our kin smile when they think back. In this way we can keep alive our memories.
Is there a certain hobby you wanted to pursue? Or perhaps a place you wanted to visit? A long lost relative you need to track down and reacquaint with? Do it as soon as possible. Work on your bucket list. Tick them all off until you have accomplished them in its entirety. Then, in the final accounting, we can confidently answer the age-old question with the words: “Ah … so that is what this thing called 'life' was all about.” Or as the iconic French phrase renders it c'est la vie. Such is life.
** The views expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of IOL or Independent Media.