Masculinity unchecked: The brutal spectacle of gender-based violence in South Africa

South Africa is bleeding and the wound is masculinity unchecked. Another young woman has died, joining the long list of women killed not for wrongdoing, but for simply existing. She died brutally, publicly, and without remorse from the man accused of ending her life.

Lazarus Antonio, 26, also known as Mfana Ngwenya, did not just commit an act of violence - he performed it. He filmed it. He showed the video to his current girlfriend as if it were a trophy. This is not heartbreak. This is hegemonic masculinity in full view: a culture that rewards domination, silences survivors, and lets men walk freely while women live in fear.

Kgaogelo Nnonu Marota, 20, was stabbed to death by Antonio outside Dubai Tavern in Maubane, Hammanskraal, on August 21, 2025. She sustained multiple stab wounds and was declared dead at the scene. Antonio then posted a video of her lifeless body on social media, alongside a confession attempting to justify the murder. The video went viral – an unacceptable violation of Kgaogelo’s dignity and privacy.

After fleeing the scene, Antonio allegedly went home and stabbed his current girlfriend, Ikageng Kgadile, 20, multiple times. She survived and is receiving medical treatment. Ikageng described him as a man who could not accept rejection. She said to protect herself, she pretended everything was normal. Her fear is not irrational – it is prophetic. She knows what many are still learning: survival does not end the violence. It reshapes it into chronic trauma, hypervigilance, and the quiet dread of being next.

Her story is a warning. Her life is a protest. And her silence, if forced, will be a national failure.

Kgaogelo’s family and friends confirmed Antonio’s history of abuse and threats. Her mother, Nkina Marota, revealed that Kgaogelo had obtained a protection order, yet Antonio continued to stalk her. In her affidavit, Kgaogelo wrote that he had threatened to pour petrol over her mother’s house and set it alight. Even after his arrest, her family lives in fear.

Her mother said she remembers her as neat, joyful, and passionate about dancing. She urged young women to leave abusive relationships at the first sign of danger.

This is not an isolated tragedy – it is a case study in coercive control, psychopathic entitlement, and wounded masculinity. Antonio’s alleged behaviour reflects a man who sees a woman’s autonomy as a threat. His violence was not spontaneous, it was rehearsed, recorded, and weaponised. He bled on those who never wounded him. And the system failed to stop him. Despite a protection order, he acted with impunity. The law was not a barrier – it was a backdrop to his performance.

The numbers are staggering. The silence is deafening. According to the South African Police Service’s Quarterly Crime Statistics, 1 918 women were murdered between July and December 2024 – nearly ten women killed every day. According to the Africa Health Organisation’s Gender-Based Violence Fact Sheet, survivors in South Africa face persistent retraumatisation through legal delays, social disbelief, and the normalisation of abuse. The report warns that femicide is frequently undercounted and under-prosecuted, contributing to a culture of impunity. Gender-based violence is described as a “devastating epidemic” – one that rivals the scale and urgency of COVID-19 – underscoring the systemic failures that allow this violence to persist.

I recently attended the Annual Public Lecture on Gender-Based Violence, hosted by the University of South Africa (UNISA). The event brought together activists, a representative from Women for Change, and scholars from the Department of Gender and Sexuality Studies. We remembered the women whose lives were stolen. The moment was heavy. It carried the ache of families who relive their trauma each time another story trends. Speakers emphasised how we must dismantle the culture of silence that blames women for not “respecting” their partners. 

In these conversations, we also highlighted how there should be accountability in South Africa as our systems are failing. Our laws need to be improved as our communities are grieving and afraid. We should also remember that every statistic conceals a name, a face, a future violently erased. These conversations matter. They allow us to gather, confront, interrogate, and ask hard questions. They help us challenge broken systems and co-create solutions rooted in justice, dignity, and care. To see how we can protect women and empower them. 

On 11 April 2025, I joined the Women for Change march at the Union Buildings in Pretoria, where hundreds gathered to demand that gender-based violence be declared a national crisis. At the heart of the demonstration was a symbolic casket, carried with solemnity and urgency – backed by over 150 000 signatures from South Africans who refuse to remain silent. 

This was more than a protest. It was a public reckoning. A tribute to the women murdered in our country.  We marched not only for those already lost, but for those still living in fear. For every woman who has filed a protection order, who has been dismissed by the justice system, who has survived but carries the trauma in her body. This crisis demands more than outrage – it demands structural reform, cultural accountability, and sustained national action. 

The violence is becoming a performance. And we are all being forced to watch.

Have you noticed how gender-based violence keeps repeating itself in the same way? A case goes viral, people are shocked, and then it happens again – almost like it’s becoming normal.

I have observed this and seen how we need to act with urgency. The cycle – the violence, shock, silence, repeat and it feels like trauma on loop. And when these acts are broadcast live, it’s not just about the crime. It’s about control, shame, and deep psychological damage. It’s a dark show, and we’re all being forced to watch.

In December 2024, Sibusiso Lawrence Ntaka went live on social media after murdering his ex-girlfriend, Ntobeko Cele, and then took his own life near the crime scene. His actions; filming the aftermath and posting it publicly sparked national outrage and reignited urgent conversations about gender-based violence, digital spectacle, and societal accountability.

Now, another man has done the same – filmed the murder, attacked another woman, and tried to end both their lives. The blueprint is public. The thrill is recycled. The harm is rehearsed.

We must confront the machinery that enables this violence. Research confirms that copycat crimes are real. A study cited in Psychology Today found that 22% of 574 incarcerated individuals admitted to committing crimes inspired by others – often influenced by media coverage. The study highlights how public spectacle can act as a blueprint for future harm, especially among individuals predisposed to violence. When perpetrators film and broadcast their crimes, it’s not just brutality – it’s choreography. A calculated performance designed for maximum impact.  

Sociologist R.W. Connell defines hegemonic masculinity as the dominant cultural ideal of manhood – one that legitimises male power and subordinates women and marginalised men. In South Africa, this ideal is not just aspirational – it is lethal.

Antonio’s alleged actions exemplify this: a man unable to tolerate rejection, who interprets autonomy as defiance, and whose violence is not impulsive but calculated. In court, he moved with swagger while the women around him were reduced to silence, fear, and death. This is not just a man, it is a system that protects him.

We must ask:  who will be held accountable when the next woman dies?

Mmabatho Makotanyane is a Women’s Empowerment Activist, Journalist and Gender Sexuality Studies student.