“Ag, don’t worry. It’s probably a field mouse, spider or some other woodland creature. Nothing like a fox or something that can do harm.”
These were the reassuring words of the general maintenance man at the Montagu Guano Cave resort.
Easy for him to say! He was called slightly before 6am (cellphone numbers provided in the info pack in our room for such emergencies, probably) thanks to a loud scratching sound emanating from the air-conditioning unit. Ominously, it’s pipe extends to outside – the wild.
He niftily reversed the flow of the air con unit outwards and that was the end of that.
Now I’m not the type who would grab a pistol (which I don’t own) and head straight to danger. My habit is usually to awaken the spouse and encourage her to have a look.
This was the kind of thing about roughing it that made me wonder why we did it. But if you’re going to go camping, tented accommodation is the way to do it.
A stone cottage foundation meets a tent, fully furnished with a bathroom that has running hot and cold water, a fridge and microwave. And air con. Yep, this is how you’re meant to camp.
About two hours from Cape Town along the N1, and just outside Montagu, the resort is the kind of place where 15 minutes feels like an hour. Relaxation is on the menu here. None of the accommodation options have TV or radio. Forget about even half-decent cellphone reception too.
My first rookie mistake was not bringing my mountain bike. You can play it safe on the peach pip surfaces that cover all the roads of the entire area of the resort or go single-tracking on the trails.
But there’s plenty on offer to keep the entire family busy. At this time of the year, the big attraction would be the four heated outdoor pools – with varying temperatures. Annoyingly, as the manager revealed, a group of delinquents from the campsite had tampered with the pool computer panel and we were left with cold pools for the duration of the stay. (The same group had allegedly set loose one of the llamas on the resort…)
For the children, the animal farm and rabbit world petting centre more than made up for the lack of swimming. The llama was safely back in his enclosure when we toured the animal farm. There were also emus, ostriches, donkeys, horses, camels and pigs.
There’s catch-and-release fishing for the fishing enthusiasts in the family, horse and pony rides, and a restaurant that is open seven days a week.
But nothing beats a few spook stories and roasting marshmallows on the campfire under the stars.
Be warned, this part of the world gets extremely cold at night, so pack in extra warm clothes.
For obvious reasons, like fear of just what kind of gogga lurked in the bowels of the air con unit, we never made it to the caves.
But there are enough souvenirs at the resort shop to take back to friends and make them believe that you dared to delve into the darkness.
Stay for the day at the Montagu Guano Cave resort or camp (with a real tent!), stay in the tented accommodation like we did (which I think is the pick of the offerings), or book a bush lapa for the whole family.
You’ll return to the city refreshed and not feeling like you need another holiday to recover from your camping holiday.
l Visit www.montaguguanocave.co.za for more details.