TIKTOK grannies have taken the world by storm, confounding those decades younger with their techno savvy skills.
And while some elderly people continue to dance, drive and thrive, for many people, growing old can be a frightening experience because they have to re-establish who they are and the role they play in society.
The Association for the Aged (Tafta) chief executive officer Femada Shamam said it was time that we changed our perceptions about the aged and tap into their vast reserves of wisdom and experience.
Shamam was the guest speaker on a recent multi-platform webinar called “Re-centering the Elderly”, organised by the Arya Samaj Women’s Forum (ASWF) as part of their year long theme of “Growing Happy Families”.
Shamam said contrary to popular belief, the last 30 years of life, between 60 and 90, were the best.
The first 30 years were about finding yourself and pushing boundaries. From 30 to 60, it was about “squirrelling”, collecting physical objects and relationships, while in the last 30 years, people really came into their own.
“I’ve seen this quite a lot with older people. They seem less bound by society’s norms and standards, and they feel freedom to express what they need to express. It’s the time when you’ve accumulated all your knowledge, you’ve accumulated all the resources you need, and you really can explore the way that you can give back to society,” said Shamam.
She said after the age of 60 was when one could make an impact on society and leave a legacy, and one way to encourage this was to change the language used to describe old people. So, in place of old age, she proposed the term, age of wisdom.
“When you keep on saying to older people that you are a burden to society and growing old is not for sissies, and it’s going to be really tough... they start believing it. They start behaving in that manner. But if you start saying to older people, this is the time of opportunity and the time for you to really give back, then they start to think about it differently.”
Shamam said a year ago, Tafta piloted a project to get seniors involved in entrepreneurship to empower them and give them dignity as well as access to the economy. A group of 60- and 70-year-olds participated in a structured programme in which they could start their own enterprises or ramp up existing ones.
At their final session, she said, the participants spoke about their achievements with a sense of pride, and there were many success stories, like the senior citizen who now gave wellness talks and a man who is keen to teach others about woodwork.
“When we take the time to understand that older people grow right until the end, then it changes the way we relate to them and also changes the way they relate to us,” said Shamam.
Several teenage boys also participated in the webinar, explaining how their grandparents filled the void often left by other adults, like their parents.
Social worker Jaishiela Kooverjee from the ASWF said it was difficult to transition from adulthood into senior citizens and that families should have open discussions about the contribution the elderly could make in the home and not exclude them from activities. She likened the family unit to a machine where all parts had to work together to move forward in the same direction.
“Giving back to the community means we should start within our families where we learn from the experiences of the people in our lives, not just grandparents,” said Kooverjee.
One of the online participants, Sandhya, said people were living longer lives, and they had to know they were still relevant so they did not feel isolated. “There are people who are 80. Sometimes, they are just living as if they are waiting to die, and it’s a very terrible state to go through.”
Another participant, Reena, said people should only be referred to as elderly when they were in their 80s. “People in their 60s and 70s are still mobile. They can drive, they talk well, they can WhatsApp, they can TikTok.”
ASWF chairperson Dr Serela Ramklass said they would work with Tafta to find ways in which the elderly could act as mentors to younger people. She said a platform was needed where anyone could tap into the skills and experience those in the age of wisdom had.
The Independent on Saturday