QUESTION: I’ve known my best friend for 40 years and have become close to her husband, too, over their long marriage. But recently he’s confided in me that their sex life is dull and infrequent and asked for advice. It’s making me uncomfortable and I don’t know how to handle the situation. Help!
ANSWER: No husband should come between a woman and her best friend, any more than a BF should stand between spouses. So your number one mistake was letting your friend’s husband have confessional one-to-one time with you. You have allowed him to establish an intimacy that threatens your closeness to his wife.
You don’t mention that you’re married or in a long-term relationship, so perhaps it was a relief to know this couple had problems. Or is it that you’re ignoring the possibility that your friend’s husband is making advances to you?
When a man tells another woman his wife is dull in bed, it’s a foghorn plea for sympathy - and what does a sex-starved man generally want from a sympathetic woman? You don’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to work out the answer, do you?
Of course, I might be overstating the case. Perhaps your friend’s husband truly wants a confidante who he can trust to intervene in a sensitive manner.
But even if his motives are more innocent than I suggest, what would your best friend make of your conversations? I cannot think she’d welcome her closest chum as marriage guidance counsellor.
You have to step back from your friend’s husband. His behaviour is inappropriate and will almost certainly destabilise your friendship.
Explain that his confessions divide your loyalties and, furthermore, that time spent alone with you could be open to misinterpretation. The fact is, he shouldn’t be talking to you but to his wife and, probably, a relationship counsellor. - Daily Mail